Each year I create a theme as part of my weekly planning sessions for work and personal life. This year the theme is "the Future is Now". It comes from my realization that if I want to be thin {some day} then I need to make decisions now to create that future. I can't indulge my food cravings and expect to ever get to my future state. Every minute of every day is a *now* moment. It doesn't mean that bad decisions kill any chance of attaining goal - it just means that the poor decision is delaying my success. Small decisions have big impacts -- for good or for bad. My future state (and goal weight) is created in the NOW moments - held in my hand.

Well then you have to decide. Are you willing to trade what you want most for what you want now? You've worked all this time, you've had great success, it's been easier than before. It's been less tedious than before (logging every bite...ugh) So today was the first day of state-mandated testing- yes. You got through it, yes. You got some really good news, check. And now you think it should be party time? You want to reward yourself for the stress and celebrate the good news? You can do that. It is not your planned cheat time. The question is..can you be okay taking some breaths, enjoying your feet up, and having some water? Make a cup of decaf and relish it. Right now is a deciding moment. Think back to that day by the pool. Your thighs were jiggling, stuck together and you felt embarrassed, old, and slow. You walked slowly to prevent any other jiggles. And I"m sure the slow walking made you look even less vibrant. You don't have to be a perfect model. You never have been, and you never will be, and that is okay. Are you living your best life now? What is the best version of you? The one wanting to hide and wear a mu mu, or the one that feels vibrant and alive? Three months from now, you won't remember this day, this feeling. Three months from today is July 13. Summer will be in full swing. People will be gathering at pools, wearing shorts and flip flops. You might go out on a boat, or to the beach. You want it. I know you want it. You want to be YOUR BEST YOU. So shut up your whining, drink some water have some free veggies and keep the focus on what you want MOST. The binge will last for about 30 minutes tops. It will be followed by guilt, bargaining, trying to figure out how to "take it back." Don't go there. You've got this. Meditate, take a walk, snuggle with the cat. Be thankful for this beautiful life, this beautiful season and this simple way to get more healthy. Be true to you. Be faithful to you. Do this for you.

So I gotta say, I love my JC Consultant, he's so positive and awesome and just makes me feel very "can-do." I always leave feeling in a good mood and like I can take on my upcoming week! I was down 3 lbs at my weigh-in! So that makes about 5 pounds total lost on Jenny Craig in 3 weeks, even with a week of gaining a pound while on vacation! I'm feeling good about this. This week, I'm trying a few things that have a little more cheese in them (like the margherita pizza) because they look good, and I'll eat them for dinner, so only my dogs really have to deal with the consequences, lol! I managed to make it through my workout yesterday, even with my pain, and my trainer pushed me a bit too, which I think I needed. I wanted to be all self-defeating, but she wouldn't let me. I'm incredibly lucky to have good team members on my health journey with my consultant and my trainer both helping me so much!! Today, I'm lucky because I get some time at home before I have to go in for client meetings this afternoon. I needed some introvert time, and I got some last night and today. Feeling positive so far, and I slept well, and my pain levels are back down today, so it's a good one so far!

OK, I just finished my lunch - Classic Cheeseburger - Pretty good! Green beans with olive oil and garlic - oh dear, I'm so over these things now, lol! With my current plan (Rapid Results), I'm supposed to have EITHER the Cheesy Broccoli OR the Green Beans + Olive Oil twice a week (JC foods) with lunch. However, I can't have the cheesy broccoli because of my lactose intolerance, so I've only been getting the green beans. I've now had them six times (2x a week for 3 weeks) and I'm officially OVER THEM! I want to make my own instead. Arrgggh! I'm going to talk about it with my consultant today and see if there's something else I can do on my own instead, just, something about the texture has been rubbing me the wrong way this week, it's like they are squeaky on my teeth and just weird! ... OK, I'm done ranting now, I've just been priding myself on not being a picky eater, but it's also hard not to be high-maintenance with the lactose stuff. I did not sleep so well last night due to my pain issues, and it's making it difficult to focus and be motivated today. I'm full of the "I DON'T WANNA"'s! So, tonight, I am going to self-care. I'll get home, have my White Bean Chili with some added veggies and such, and my Lemon Cake. Then, I'm going to snuggle onto the couch in my personal study, wrap a blanket around myself, and hopefully spoon with my little dog Scout (if she's not too rambunctious tonight). We are going to watch a movie - I haven't decided on which one yet, I'm debating between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I just need some personal "me" time, I'm a bit of an introvert and I've been around people a LOT for the past two weeks, so my batteries need a little recharging. Plus, we are getting ready to move and just listed the house, so my body has been taxed with the cleaning and lifting and such, so I'm sure that's not helping. Definitely time for rest and replenishing my mental and physical resources! Then, I will be ready to tackle the rest of my week! What do you do to recharge your batteries?

I recently hit what I think (HOPE) is my rock bottom. My weight has been steadily increasing forever. I thought I had it somewhat under control, but after quitting JC prior to the summer I continued to gain. One day I stepped on the scale and the most upsetting thing happened. The scale registered at over 300 pounds. I stepped off and laughed. I laughed to cover the tears. I weigh 300 pounds. And I can see it in pictures. I can feel it in my clothes and in the difficulty I have carrying myself around. I am ashamed. But I'm also at a point where I call it as I see it. I'M FAT. I AM AN OBESE WOMAN. And if I don't do something I am going to have health and physical problems as I get older. My father is on a walker in his early 60's in a large part due to the damage his weight did to his body. I do not want that to be me. I need to figure this out. I don't know how to figure this out. What can't my brain wrap around the fact that I AM FAT AND IT IS MY OWN FAULT. I don't know where to start as far as fixing this issue. Diet and exercise. YES! It doesn't work. I doubt myself. I don't know enough. I think this 'one last bite' won't matter. What has to happen for me to fix this? I was considering gastric bypass but my insurance won't cover it. Short of hiring a personal chef/dietician I don't know what to do. I am overwhelmed. I am scared. I don't know what to do. I cannot see that scale continue to go up. I can't live like this anymore.

Break up with Medusa, wake up the Warrior. Walk away from the self-doubt and self-criticism. Step into the light and kick some arse! Head high, shoulders back, deep breath. Food worries, I'm taking you down. I've been wrestling with you for too long. It's time to knock you out and flex some muscles with a warrior cry. No more, "Oh no? what will I eat at dinner? what if I can't resist the chocolate bowl?" I hop around like a worrisome bunny anxious, hiding, wringing my hands. What if I can't do this? What if it's too hard? What if I gain in back? What if...? what if...? Shut up! Just shut that up right now. Put on your Schwarzenegger face. Scowl a little, bring out Dirty Harry, Embody Thelma and Louise right before Thelma floors it off the cliff What about some of those super cool chicks in movies who kick some major butt? She's/He's inside you. The warrior is inside. Wake her up! I'll snarl at that stubborn scale and say, "Really? You're going to give me that kind of lip? Oh no. That is just not an acceptable answer from you. You watch, you watch. I'll be back here tomorrow, same time, same place. Yup, I'll be naked, with shaved legs, flossed teeth, clipped nails. And I'm going to stare you down again. and you WILL, you will eventually bend to my will!" Tomorrow. and tomorrow. and tomorrow. Let's decide warrior names for ourselves- Let's brainstorm favorite kick-a$$ characters and start taking on that attitude on this journey. It will be a LOT more fun! Please post your names Pictures and ideas.

The beginning of my jenny journey started in may of this year, it involved a lot of cheating, lying to myself and excuses. I think during those 5 months I made 3 orders. I was completely not following the system. It was hard for me, I was the one stopping myself from succeeding. Today is day 3 since I switched from online to in person. I have been following my meal plan, crossing off each meal as I go. This time around I hope to succeed. I will use all the resources jenny provides us with, like this Blog. I have 80 pounds to lose, Wish me luck!

Medusa: This is boring. Me: Yup, it can be boring. It's also boring to sit on the sidelines and not dance because I'm worried about my jiggle. It's boring to not participate because I'm self-conscious. It's boring to wear the same old bulky clothing that fits rather than all the cute stuff in the closet. Oh my goodness is it boring to wake up every-single-morning and think about my weight, and my discomfort, yet not do a thing to change these circumstances. "A spectacular achievement is always preceded by boring preparation." Famous Athletes- they start out excellent in their sport, and they practice, practice, practice. How many practice pitches has NY Yankee pitcher Tanaka thrown? Musicians- How many hours a day does Yo-Yo Ma practice? How many other things in his life did he miss because he was committed to boring practice? Writers- They all say that the first draft is garbage. The magic comes in staring at the computer screen for hours, continuing to sit through the writer's block, and just write something down. It can feel tedious and never-ending. A kid learning to ride a bike- how much effort went into getting on the bike and riding smoothly? How long did a parent hold the seat and jog beside the child? How many times did the child fall down, get hurt, and get brave enough to get back on the bike? If this was easy, everyone would do it. Everyone would be thin. Everyone would be wearing bikinis. If this was easy, there wouldn't be thousands of diets out there. I've got to do what others will not so that I can have what others will not. Following this plan PLUS time = Success. It's that simple. Follow the plan. Quit your whining and attitude of self-defeat. We are most proud of the things that are difficult, require attention, patience, dedication, and yes...all the boring preparation.

Day two of Jenny Craig is winding down to an end. It was challenging at times. Even though I had ate, I wanted to eat more. It was as if I was craving for something. So I had to throw extra willpower to stick to the plan. The food is filling and is planned out for me. So it takes all the guess work out of what I need to do for the day. I've been trying to lose weight for years. So now I recognize I need to take the burden of worrying about food away while I start this weight loss journey. It has helped me to not constantly think about food. Like normal thoughts for me would be "what am I going to eat for the day" "how much should I eat" "I'm eating now, what am I going to eat later." "I'm still hungry maybe I should've ate something different..." Tomorrow will be day 3 and I'm going to incorporate 30 minutes of exercise. Plus a nice soothing bath, using my Lush Bomb. I'm currently 275 pounds. My mini goal is to get out the 270s and my JC goal is 230 to start. My ending goal is 150.

I want to be healthy. My father has diabetes, my grandmother died from it. With my current weight and unhealthy eating I'm at risk. I'm doing this to change my life and hopefully my family that continues the same bad habits. I'm hoping to change my community while I'm at it! I also want to be in-shape to play sports, I love softball and dancing but have a hard time participating because of my weight. I don't want to be the weak link because I can't keep up with everyone else. I want to be one of those people that take care of themselves. I want to look good. I am a traditional dancer. We dance out in the public often and at least 3 to 20 people take pictures and record. I would like to be able to look at those pictures without feeling insecure. I would like to buy clothes and like how they look on me. I want to join a dance group but with my current weight I feel insecure about being recorded. I have a guy that I like, I kind of made him my goal. I said to myself that when I'm at my goal weight, I will ask him out.

October starts my very favorite season of all! I absolutely love the Fall. From now through the end of the year I will be at my happiest and most content. The cool weather, the leaves, colors, sights and smells are a balm to my soul. Then we come to the holidays which I love. Seeing family and friends, the spirit of giving and celebrating keep me upbeat. I enjoy the changes in season but I admit that I look forward to the Fall and Winter. I hate heat and I hate humidity. And it really does a number on my mood and attitude. With the cooling temps I find it easier to work out. And easier to follow an eating plan. Some people probably think this is weird since most people look at summer and bathing suit season as being the most motivating. Not for me! When the Summer and the heat come to town I find myself slowing down and hiding out. So I am going to take this knowledge about myself and do my best to knock it out of the park - stay motivated and get moving!

Yesterday was terrible, I almost quit and it had nothing to do with the JC plan. I had a luncheon I had to attend so I took the dressing and thought I’ll just have the salad and eat the JC food around it. No Salad! But I realized there were veggie wraps. I took two, dumped the contents on my plate and through the wraps out. It was basically a salad with all the right veggies, but a little too much dressing. OK, that was fine, but the meeting ran long and I left starving. On the way home I stopped by the grocery store pharmacy to get a prescription for my husband, but there was an insurance snafu. (Insurance company: “Yes you are covered but we haven’t processed a new number for you for the New Year, it’ll take 24-48 hours.”) By that time I felt like crying (OK, still other family stuff wreaking havoc on my life) and I thought, stop the diet and start Monday; it’s the weekend anyway. Remember, I WAS IN THE GROCERY STORE! Oh brother it was getting bad, I was thinking about what sounded good. Macaroni and Cheese (wait that was on the calendar for tomorrow’s dinner); Pizza (lunch on Sunday.) Something inside me said “if not now, then when?” Something inside me said “cheat if you need to with a little extra sugar free chocolate pudding and an extra bit of whipped cream.” You know, I didn’t even need the extra. I did pout all night, but I didn’t need the extra. Plan better Belinda! Not sure why “if not now then when?” worked, but who am I to question. So down 2.8 pounds starting day 3 (yes, I know it is fresh fat and water but it is still 2.8 lbs!) Next week my husband is out of town and I can focus food just on me. Onward!!!!

Finding motivation starting to wain? Put more focus on the journey and allow yourself to relax in the path instead of always looking at the goal which could still be a ways away. Find joy and happiness and inspiration along the way. There is nothing stopping you from attaining any goal you really want to achieve because all the variables (path and state) are considered part of the journey and worth finding the "amazing" parts in each of them. Most folks who struggle with the path or their state give up too soon ;( try this instead: Look for an alternate path, something new to either go with the plan your on or something entirely new that will prove to move you toward your goal. An example would be if your going to the gym try adding a dance class for the next 6 weeks. If your tired in the afternoon add aroma therapy oils next to your work station at 2pm to invigorate you for the next 3 hours. Simple changes in your routine (your path) will not only motivate and move you toward your goal but will make the journey an adventure. Plus if your good to yourself your body will respond in kind. A happy joyful state is a motivated state. Do things that bring you the most joy. And look for joy in all you do. Source: Inspiration/Motivation

Hey everyone. Here I’d like to share my short story o weight loss. After two pregnance I gained around 30 pounds and I was really shoked when I checked my weight. From size S I have come to L. So I was quite upset as I didn’t feel comfortable in my own body. I worked full time and I gave all my free time to my kids so I practically didin’t have time to care about myself. I desired to change my style of life and reconsider what I eat and do. So I started with food. Relying on my past experience I decided not to try any diet but just eat less. I have set a plan or myself where I ate 5 times a day – breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner. Mostly I ate vegetables fresh or fried but in its own juice not oil with chicken or fish. Salmon was perfect and still its one of my favorite meals. For dessert I used to have berries or fruits with yogurt. As a snack I took nuts, banana, muesli bar or toast with cheese. The next thing was to push myself every morning to wake up 30 mins earlier to do exercises which I have found in the internet. I also joined gym and dance classes at the weekend. As I wanted to improve my result with loosing weight I was searching for more ideas. One of them was buying Duromine but it haven’t convinced me at all. I read stories of people who used pills like those and became addicted. So I sticked to my plan – diet plus exercises and I was absolutely happy. Eventually after 3 months I’ve lost 24 pounds. I am proud that I did that without any external help like solutions4weightloss or surgery. I hope that people who read my post will believe in their power and definitely will reach their aim in weight loss.

I think I've kinda been in a funk lately. I haven't had much enthusiasm and ambition to really be strict with my diet.... I skipped my weigh in this week because last week I was the same weight as I was the week before and I just wasn't feeling it. I have a lot of food left over this week because I haven't been eating much jenny food or any other food for that matter. Idk what's up with me but I could use some encouragement because I think I'm already at the point of going back to my old bad habits.... :/ Anyone else having a hard time>?!

I feel a bit like Alice. I am starting a journey and don't know exactly where it will lead. In the past, I have tried different weight loss programs only to lose my motivation, cheat and give up when I saw no results. I am now at a point in my life where I am done. I am done with disrespecting myself, with not seeing myself as a person valuable enough to put in the effort for. I put others first. I have not been willing to commit the time and funds necessary to myself thinking that it would be selfish to do so. I have not been willing to inconvenience others by putting myself first when I needed to. I am done with all of that. I look at the person in this photo and cringe. Not because I am disgusted with how I look but because I know how I felt in that photo. I felt out of shape, left out, tired, and yes...ugly. I am at a critical time in my life. I am old enough to need to make this change now but young enough to be able to make it. Why am I willing to do the work now? Because my boys, who I love with all I am, are going to be leaving home soon. Right now is the time I have to be active with them and I can't do the activities I want to do because of this weight. I need to be healthy NOW. I am ready to work at it. I am ready to commit to it. I am ready to sacrifice for it. I want to be able to climb the entire rock wall at the gym. I want to be able to hike 5 miles up a mountain and then have the energy for a little dance at the top. I want to complete a half-marathon. I want to be small enough to wear the cute clothes and the high heels. I want to look sexy and healthy. I want my sassy insides to match my sassy outsides. I am committed to doing what it takes each day of this journey. I will eat enough healthy food to fuel my body. I will move my body each day in different, challenging ways. I will journal my feelings instead of covering them up with food. I will reach out to people around me, finding support in places I didn't know I had any. I will choose one new activity to do each month. My first is my first 5K which I will run/walk with family in September. In October, I have signed up for a trail 5K which I will take on by myself trying to beat my previous time. In November, we will be going to the Bahamas and I will wear a swim suit and feel good about myself in it. More to come...

My blog entry title is inspired by my Jenny Craig Counselor. He's always saying, "Keep that motivation goin' Christine!" Despite all of the anxiety that I had about my weigh-in today, I actually lost over a pound and in total have lost almost 10 lbs on the plan so far within a month. Although this week didn't bring any super significant weight loss, it definitely helped to boost my confidence even just a little bit. And although I felt like I had a bad week (cramming for exams and cheating during late night study sessions), I was still able to lose a little weight. I just have to keep reminding myself of how good I feel when I am active. It isn't just good for the obvious reason of getting in shape but it also helps with your mental health. I find that going for a walk/run really helps relieve stress. I used to be extremely athletic in high school, then I went to college and stopped being as active, and I really think a lot of my depression stems from that inactivity. Another motivational factor to get outside and get movin' is the weather has been beautiful! I think once exams are over and I can really devote my full attention to the plan I will be on the right track. It's all about believing in yourself and refusing to let the negative thoughts occupy your brain!

When I joined Jenny Craig, I was super excited and I still am, but I stumbled when I should have just read my prior posts. I had two weeks with a weight loss of one pound. Now, it was easy for me to motivate you, but I was so disappointed, I couldn't even blog. I want to thank Dark_Angel who emailed me and asked where I had been. It was then that I realized that I have joined a family and I should blog when I am shaken so I can get my virtual hugs . If you read my last blog, you will see that I had a misfire. My scale said I had lost over five pounds and when I got into the office...What?!?! I had lost ONLY one pound. Now, I should have been glad that I didn't gain any weight because that is a sign that I am doing something right. After all, "Jenny is designed to have you lose 1-2 lbs a week and keep it off." needless to say I am feeling better now and I am still walking with my neighbor and her dog. We even walk at night when she gets home and believe me, that is very hard when it is as cold as it has been in Los Angeles. Yes, I said it is cold in California. Who took our heat? I have learned that as long as I don't gain any weight, it is a good thing and I should not beat up on the scale. After all, it is only the messenger, but the week I lost only a pound, I was as mad as the queen in Alice in Wonderland and almost crossed my arms and said, "Scale! Out with your batteries !! I am calmer now and I am proud to say that I didn't resort to any fast food during my escapade. I did munch out on raw almonds and cheese crackers. That is even a victory because in the old days, I would have cradled a pint of Vanilla Swiss Almond Hagen Daaz like a new born baby as I shoveled it down with a tablespoon, but...I didn't . Almost two months and no fast food, not even today at he potluck when my peers said I should have at least one piece of chicken. And then there was this co-worker who shoved red velvet cake in my face taunting me to eat it. I simply turned to the others in the room and said, "You can always tell where the devil is sitting," and everyone laughed including the temptress. You have to have some fun while you are doing this and keep your eye on your goal. I know that now. I also know that I should not stop blogging because it helps, it really does. Until next time, stay inspired and thank you Dark_Angel for pulling me back into our family P.S. Happy Valentines Day!

I am still feeling pretty good right now which is miraculous since I have been on Jenny Craig for almost three weeks (which means no fast food for the same amount of time) and I have only been really hungry twice. I did a complete turn-a-round in regards to my eating habits and I keep waiting for the "Big Boom" So far, no "boom." I see sabotage like an evil ninja because sometimes you don't see it coming and when you realize it is happening, it is too late. Well, I am here to tell you that you can be a "good ninja" and overcome the sabotage just like any other challenge in your life. Sometimes, the sabotage is subtle and maybe unintentional, but nevertheless, it doesn't contribute to your goal so it is not good for you. The quicker you can recognize sabotage, the easier it will be to avoid or counter it, even when the unintentional saboteur is you. Here is an example of a ninja that I defeated. I went to visit a friend of mine at her job and we were talking about Jenny Craig. I told her that I was doing pretty well and asked her how she was doing on her program. Just then I saw it...a chocolate-covered pomegranate cluster sitting innocently on her file cabinet...defenseless and all by itself, out in the open with no wrapper . I used to eat them by the cup. I said jokingly, "That is not what I think it is, is it?" She said, "Yes, it is" and told me I could have it. "You know I am on Jenny Craig, I don't want to eat that," I said confidently as I looked in the other direction. She laughed and said, "It's not going to kill you to have one." A ninja had just entered the room disguised as unintentional sabotage . I thanked her, but told her I did not want it (which I did). Then I asked myself if I had wanted it before I saw it and the answer was "No!" I realized it for what it was, an old habit trying to resurface...not today! After she finished her last few tasks, she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat and I told her that if it was not on the Jenny menu, I would not eat it. I was determined . She said sarcastically, "You can have salad right; let's go to Soup Plantation" so we went there to eat. Two things were wrong here and I recognized them as I drove. First of all, I should have declined the invitation and went home and studied and the second, I had promised myself that I was not going to eat out until I lost 50 lbs (that is just my own personal promise), I will know next time to pause for a moment and think before I say "yes." Lesson learned. While at the restaurant, I made good decisions. I created a salad of lettuce, beets, crushed eggs, non-fat Ranch dressing, a few cornels of corn and about five peas, shredded carrots and a tablespoon of sunflower seeds. I made sure everything was in moderation. THAT salad was the best salad that I have ever had in my life!! Usually, I make a salad and waste it as I race to grab two bowls of chili and three of those delicious corn muffins. Not this time. I ate slowly and I enjoyed every fork full of my salad masterpiece. What happened next floored me. My friend tried to convince me to get: a baked potato....I said, "No thanks"...one muffin...I said, "No thanks"...some jello...I said, "No thanks"...some vegetables (which I could have eaten, but, I said, "No thanks." I wanted to eat a salad "period!" Another ninja had entered the room and was sitting at our table, but this time I heard him creep up and I was ready. I stood my ground and the unintentional sabotage (I say that because a friend would not sabotage on purpose, right?) had no power. I don't know if I mentioned this, but my friend is on Jenny Craig, but she has not bought her food for the week so she is not eating it. I thought we were ready to go and I was standing by the door when I saw her loading her tray again. This time: clam chowder with crackers covering the top, ice cream and a cone and vegetables. I asked her with a smile, "Is that on Jenny Craig?" She told me that she was trying to be good because I was following the program. Really? My point is this: We have to be determined to stand up for what we are trying to do. Others may not understand or care, but we have to care at all times. If we want to loose the weight, we have to do what we are supposed to do. We have had a lifetime of "giving in" and that should be over or on its way out. I know people are not intentional saboteurs, but some are. We can protect ourselves from both. Keep your eyes on what you are doing and remember why you are doing it. Don't be hard on yourself, if you stumble a time or two, or are disappointed by something. Deal with the emotion "without food." I know, I know, this is hard to do sometimes, but if you do it once then you can do it twice and then you are doing it all the time. I would think you want to not only be beautiful, but healthy too, right? I know I do. Be the "good ninja" who protects you from anything that can harm you and that includes acts of sabotage, intentional or not intentional. I remember right before I started Jenny, Craig, I "felt" unhealthy and it scared me so I am determined not to go there again. Whatever your reason for improving your life, remember that and remind yourself of it especially when you forget. We can do this and we can do it well. All the other stuff is just life happening and we have to deal with life regardless of what we weigh. Jenny Craig is teaching me some extremely valuable lessons that I was missing before because I was too busy cramming food down my throat to dull...everything. Not anymore. I am going to take responsibility for my emotions and my life and you can too (if you haven't already). Like Jenny says, "Feel like new. Feel like you." I haven't felt that way for a long time, but I am feeling that way now and I gotta tell you, "I love it!"

Tonight was a test in many ways. I had my first weigh-in today and I lost 5.4 lbs. (yeah!). I was happy and I felt like singing. As luck would have it, a friend of mine was hosting a karaoke night at a club and he invited me to come and perform. Now, normally, this is not a problem, but since I am on Jenny Craig...it was still not a problem. I knew two things going out the door. The first was that I was not going to drink and the second was that I was not going to eat. I had already eaten dinner so I put an apple in my pocket and headed out the door. Now usually karaoke goes hand-in-hand with drinking. People get a little (or a lot) tipsy and then want to sing. I am always supportive of all who sing. I am a singer so I sound the same whether I have had a drink or not. Tonight, I had a great time just performing with the karaoke machine (no chaser) and the audience liked my performances. I sang "Natural Woman," Time After Time, and Whitney Houston's, "I Look to You." The last song is a gospel song, but I am sure God likes to be serenaded every once in a while too. Besides, I am very grateful that I have lived to see 53 after being overweight all these years. Living my life with Jenny Craig is not going to be difficult as long as I stay positive. I am incorporating the changes into my life so they will last. So far, so good. When I got home, I ate my snack: chocolate cheesecake and fat-free milk. I told myself before I let that I would have the snack to look forward to when I got home, but when I ate it...it was too sweet. Oh, but I put some raw almonds in my salad. Now THAT worked. It was really good...who knew? Overall, I am feeling pretty good and not hungry.(still can't get over that one). I look forward to the meals and I am loving salad like never before. It is going to work this time because I am taking it slow and taking full note of my wins, like tonight. Hang in there newbies. We are going to make this happen and dance like nobody is watching when we loose the weight. You know what? Dance now!! tap4jennycraig

I learned two valuable lessons this past week and I will share them with you because you may be able to relate. As I write this article, I can smell someone cooking in one of the neighboring apartments and it smells delicious, but since I am not hungry, it is just a smell. It's gone now, thank you timely breeze . Ok, here we go with the first lesson. My friend agreed to ride with me as I went to see a friend who lived about an hour away. I was glad to have the company; however on the way she asked if we could stop at Jack-in-the-Box because she wanted to get a vanilla shake and a chocolate cake (aka "chocolate overload"). I felt a little funny that she would ask me, knowing that I was on Jenny Craig, but we went and I survived, sitting next to her as she slurped and stirred the thick shake and then moved on to the chocolate cake. My friend does not have a weight issue and we used to go and get this combo together and equally enjoyed slurping and stirring. I had a lot of time to think as she ate and at first I was a little angry thinking, "She is really going to eat this chocolate cake in front of me, really?" It almost seemed as though she was taunting me. I never looked in her direction as I continued to drive. What I learned is that my change to Jenny Craig has not only affected me, it has also affected my late night, fast-food run buddy and my friends that I use to tag along with as I went from one fast food place to another. What are they to do now that I no long visit these grease pits? I also realized that only "my" eating has changed, not theirs. They can still have whatever they want and I either have to be absent when they eat the stuff that I have chosen not to eat or find another way to deal with the situation. So here is what I came up with. When I am driving, we are not going to places that tempt me...period! I am also not going to ride with friends who want to make late night fast food runs. That is how I will deal with it! My success is important to me and I have to stand up for myself. The next circumstance showed me something very important about my relationship with food. I was asleep and I received a call at 2:30 a.m. from someone I know who was stranded and needed me to come get them. They were hysterical. Against the advice of my best friend, I went. I did not see them at the designated spot so I came back home. What was important is what happened before and after the event. Before I went, I was feeling reluctant about having them stay in my apartment. I did not want to go, but I had said that if they needed help, they could call me. I could not go back on my word. There were other things that complicated the situation even further so I was really disturbed while trying to work it out. After I started back home, I felt myself wanting to eat as I passed all of the neon signs calling me to their drive-thru. It was at that moment that I realized that I was "not" hungry, but I needed to calm myself down. I fought the urge and came home and tossed and turned in my bed until I finally fell asleep. Not eating taught me that I didn't have to give into an old crutch. I had done what the CD (Touchstones for Success: How to Change Your Mind To Achieve Your Goals) said and let my emotions play out and then intervened as the non-biased negotiator. I was proud of that moment. Being on Jenny Craig is not only taking the weight off of me. It is teaching me about myself and I love that. I notice that I swipe my debit card less because I am not eating out and I notice that I can go into a store and leave without candy. I feel powerful in my new journey and I know it will last as I loose the weight and gain a greater perspective. I hope you are doing well on the program too and if you stumble a little, that's ok. You have time to correct your flow and still end up where you want to be. Thank you for reading and make it happen. You can do it!!

It has been seven days since I started the Jenny Craig program and I am feeling better by the day. The only thing I ate was fast food and occasionally I would go to a sit-down restaurant with my friend. When I started feeling unlike myself, I decided to call Jenny. The woman who took my information over the phone had the same first and middle name that I did so I took that as a sign. I currently weigh 320 lbs, but I am determined to widdle that away week by week. I was on Jenny once before, but financial restrictions caused my doom. I could no longer afford the food, BUT I am "making myself a priority" so I will do what I have to do to make this happen. I am 53 and I just graduated from UCLA. I am now studying to be a lawyer and I know that I will need to be at my best to do that. The food is delicious and I am almost having trouble eating it all. When I ate before, it was maybe once a day and consisted of hamburgers and French fries or chili...you know the drill. The interesting thing is I don't keep food in the refrigerator because I binge. My refrigerator looks brand new after several years. All it does is cool air and an occasional bottle of water. Seeing the frozen boxes in the fridge and the boxes in the cabinet seems strange, but nice at the same time. This week has been good for me with just two or three temptations. Today I walked into the 7-11 and there they were taunting me....Reese’s cups ; sitting in a pretty little pile showing me the ridges of their dainty paper cups through their bright orange wrapper. I walked right past them. I hope I didn't hurt their feelings. I walked out with a diet cranberry drink . The next temptation was a dinner I had to attend. I told my counselor that I could take my dinner and ask them to microwave it and she said “Uh...no, you are not going to do that," and we both laughed. It was catered, but I instructed the server on how much to give me. I DID get a peanut butter cookie, but I broke in half. I ate one half...and then I ate the other half. I didn't beat myself up though because I wanted to take six cookies and I only took one. So far, so good and I know it will only get better. My first meeting is tomorrow so I will keep you posted. Love , tap4jennycraig 1.8.13 .

It has been a day since my weigh in and I have already been put to the test dozen of times since then! I am happy to say that I have still stuck to my jenny craig plan and I must say the barscotti is fantastic! As well as the pumpkin cakes, but I'm sure we all knew they were going to be . Living with a family of 4 is hard, especially when I come from a family that can eat loads of bad, fattening food. Within two days they have managed to have takeout twice, but instead of me drooling over their food, we engaged in a fun conversation about our days while I munched on my favourite Jenny meal, fajitas (yum!). I pulled my favourite sweater out of my closet today and I already noticed a different in the fit, which really motivates me to just stick with it because nothing feels as good as being fit and healthy!

Easy to take for granted how much we have to be grateful for. This morning it dawned on me, that while I ***** and moan and whine about my commute it is the ONE thing I can attribute to bringing me CLOSER to fitness. For that I am thankful.. The rest is all a work in progress but maybe this was my sign or just the "forced hand" I needed to save myself. There are tons of things I'm unhappy with in life right now, but as I make the list of things I can or should be happy with and about I can't help but smile - and that feels nice... It feels great actually. Feeling great is something I could get accustomed to. I often wonder about people who seem upbeat and pleasant all the time. I scoff at them and wonder' Is life really that grand'? sorry Im naturally cynical. The answer - "Whether it is or it isn't, they are choosing to approach it as such. Maybe YOU should try it too, Summa!" With a recent birthday comes some 'birth year resolutions'. Choose to be happy and proceed with an attitude of gratitude... Even when things dont appear so great. Way too easy to get sucked into Debbie Downer (and boy have I been trying to shake her from my persona). It's like eating better and exercising - you're hardly ALWAYS in the mood, but eventually it becomes a habit and you do it naturally... I've proven I can create an exercise habit, so I can create a Positive Polly habit, can't I? Now say bye bye debbie!

A wise person once said (and I think Im wise, so I am repeating it :" The way you see yourself is a self -fulfilling prophecy." As frequent dieters ( I use the term loosely), some of us have a way of seeing ourselves as what we were ... not who we are becoming or even who we are.. If we are here, we are people who acknowledge there are improvements we can or should make in our lives as early as NOW.We are people who have at some point abused food or misabused our bodies by lack of nutritious foods, physical activity, etc. While some of us still are having a lot to lose and have the challenge of carrying it around daily, there is no reason to bow our heads in shame when we enter a room or try to make ourselves shrink in the company of "smaller" people because we are FIGHTING. we are trying. Whether a perfect stranger knows or not, WE KNOW our daily struggle, we know our obstacles and more importantly we know our victories. Here, we speak freely of our weight while someof our nearest and dearest friends and families dare not peek while we are weighing (speaking from experience here... Id CUT my husband before I let him know my weight voluntarily)... partly kidding.... Anyway this is a safe place for us so we should begin to pratice our confidence in our haven and transfer it to our daily living. A few weeks ago my younger sister came to visit and I must have been on my usual rant and said something along the lines of "my life will begin when I lose weight". She called me on it this past Saturday and while I don't recall saying it (To her) per se, its in my repertoire ... the fact that she remembered it and brought it up made me realize that is NOT the way to go. Despite her being in her twenties I still think of myself as her role model and if she said something crazy like I wont start living untilI finish school (shes battled weight but manages to drop it in record time every time) Id tell her she was NUTS! I TOO am guilty of being an extremist. Am I oozing self confidence - no, not yet but I do feel a bit more swagger in my step and a little taller stance as I get dressed in the fitness center. My thighs still jiggle and I wont be wearing shorts anytime soon, but I feel good about my progress The weight is coming off in ounces, but Im grateful for the progress. Im happy to know that IM not starving myself or taking diet pills (ive been tempted in the past 4 weeks) but IM getting there. NOt just me, you're getting there too.. IFyou are going through a challenging time and asking yourself Y you arent making progress, ask yourself what am I really working towards, we can ALL make it, we just need to tell ourselves that. No more berating, no more harsh words, no more fat jokes (about ourselves). Let's love ourselves and be kinder and more supportive of our own efforts. Challenge yourself to start each day with a kind word about yourelf. I am beautiful. I am strong, I am a conqueror!