Today was my first day back on plan after 5 years. I was able to maintain my weight loss over the past years but had a very bad year that has spun me out of control and unable to get my bearings on my own. I'm someone who has always struggled with depression and anxiety, but this past year was marked by a health crisis for my husband and the loss of my father. I have allowed myself some leeway because of the nature of these struggles, but I am very very hard on myself. In the past few months, I've gained about 15 lbs. and as a result have done nothing but beat myself up and spin further into depression. I want to keep myself focused and accountable as I begin this journey. I want to be kinder to myself and as supportive of myself as I truly am of others. I want everyone to be happy and achieve their goals, but when it comes to myself, I struggle with this. So this isn't just about losing 20 lbs. for me. This is about shifting my mindset to one of support and acceptance of myself. I want to celebrate even the smallest of successes and lean on others who truly understand the struggle when obstacles arise. I am hoping to grow as a result of this experience so that I am stronger, not for weighing less, but as a result of slowing down and being kinder and fairer to myself. I am proud of the fact that I made it through the first day successfully. I am proud that I finally took action after months of complaining about being unhappy with how much weight I've gained. I"m ready to do this!