Previously, I preferred to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. "All will be ok and I will be fine." Well, since we're all here together, you can see where that got me.
I've been on a journey. To find myself and move forward...with myself...regardless of what is in my way. It's been a journey that started about 5 years ago. I had many life situations that happened around me, affecting me, but not about me. I tried to help, nuture, parent, be a good daughter, be a good friend, excel in my job, help finance people's problems. I did this while trying to complete my college degree. It was the first big thing in my life that I've accomplished. I am the only person in my immediate family to complete college. Then all went downhill and I finally hit a wall. Everything I thought was good was not. Everything I thought I could fix, could not be fixed. I made a decision then to stop looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.
So now, I'm calling myself a newbie realist. This comes to me now because I FINALLY stopped looking at my weight loss through those rose-colored glasses. I stopped thinking that eating more than one item off plan was going to be ok. It's not going to be ok if I want to get to goal. I also stopped thinking that if I don't do some sort of exercise, I'll still lose weight when I get closer to goal. Am I near goal now - HECK NO! But I now realize if I don't start something now, I won't get into a groove, making it an every-day occurrence later in my journey. I also made a commitment to get to the real goal - not a goal that I feel is ok because I can't envision me weighing less. So... not 30 pounds less - the real goal is 75 pounds less and I'M GOING TO GET THERE.
I also realize that I'm not going to lose 75 pounds overnight. I'm over 55 and it's most likely going to go slow. Bummer. But it's real. I've realized that I can't do this alone, but I really don't have have much home support. Bummer again. But it's real. Life is real. I will have to deal with this the rest of my life. It's not a "get thin quick" program for me. It's a "make it stick" program. My consultant is amazing. I lean on her when I have to. She's given me so much help and information. I also lean on reading the blogs and forums.
This was never something I did - documenting my feelings or writing down what I ate. I'm actually shocked I'm doing it! But I am doing it. Hands up for the Realist!