ROCK BOTTOM
I recently hit what I think (HOPE) is my rock bottom. My weight has been steadily increasing forever. I thought I had it somewhat under control, but after quitting JC prior to the summer I continued to gain. One day I stepped on the scale and the most upsetting thing happened. The scale registered at over 300 pounds. I stepped off and laughed. I laughed to cover the tears. I weigh 300 pounds. And I can see it in pictures. I can feel it in my clothes and in the difficulty I have carrying myself around. I am ashamed. But I'm also at a point where I call it as I see it. I'M FAT. I AM AN OBESE WOMAN. And if I don't do something I am going to have health and physical problems as I get older.
My father is on a walker in his early 60's in a large part due to the damage his weight did to his body. I do not want that to be me. I need to figure this out. I don't know how to figure this out. What can't my brain wrap around the fact that I AM FAT AND IT IS MY OWN FAULT. I don't know where to start as far as fixing this issue. Diet and exercise. YES! It doesn't work. I doubt myself. I don't know enough. I think this 'one last bite' won't matter. What has to happen for me to fix this? I was considering gastric bypass but my insurance won't cover it. Short of hiring a personal chef/dietician I don't know what to do.
I am overwhelmed. I am scared. I don't know what to do. I cannot see that scale continue to go up. I can't live like this anymore.
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