So here I am, sitting in my study in front of two ten feet over-sized windows. The window's true beauty is not its size, simple oak or oblong bronze hardware all the way from South Africa, it is actually how it captures the sun and pushes it through the pane. For a moment, the ray makes me forget that I've been perched between two internal translucent lingering fixtures in my life: a fear of failing and a dark cloak of anxiety. Before starting the day and setting to write my meal plan down I decided to take several deep breaths and pray to cling on to the good in everything around me.Why not. . . Finally, I decide that there's much to see and do and get the day started.
Today, I decide that the main thing that is brightly shining in my life is that I am starting a diet that may allow me to slip away from what has kept me divided from being healthier and happier for over a decade. "Could it finally be here, are things going to change for the better" I ask patiently? Without answering, I determine that I am just so glad that it is here and that I made this step: finally. It feels like greeting a familiar friend after several years or getting a package that's taken so long to arrive at your front door. It just feels good--
This is more than a diet . . . it's a new beginning for me. I know I can do this. I'm 190 and 5'4. I have too. I am not dreaming this is real.
Thought to hold on today: "I never new the sun could shine on one pink flower and feel that warm through all that glass"