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A Little Late- Week 8

dolphins5407

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I'm a bit late posting this but better late than never I guess. Week 8 went well. I lost 4.8 pounds (for a total of 36 pounds) and 15.5 inches (for a total of 32 inches.) When I look in the mirror I see such a huge difference in myself and my clothes are hanging off of me. Yet very few people (other than my wonderfully supportive hubby and one friend) seem to be noticing. This is such a huge source of frustration for me. I don't even WANT to care if people notice, but I care. A lot. I keep telling myself it's my journey and nobody else's. What does it matter what anyone thinks? Why is it that I can't just be proud of myself? Why do I look to others for validation? Is anyone else struggling with this?



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I know exactly how you feel. I have lost 42 pounds and friends have said nothing. It makes me feel like I don't look any different. My parents have noticed and my aunt. I keep telling myself I shouldn't need others validation. I also think maybe they don't want to say anything since weight is such a touchy subject sometimes.

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I struggle with the same thing. What is true for me is that I am extremely critical of myself and have a lot of self-hate. My opinion about my weight/self taints a lot of my choices in life. For example, I choose to be uncomfortable at my grandson's ball game because I have gained weight and people will notice.

So when I lose weight and choose to go to my grandson's baseball game, I am looking for validation from others because I don't weigh as much. Of course I don' receive the validation.

What I have observed about myself is that my self-loathing interferes with my ability to fully celebrate my weight loss success and give it validation and meaning. I am also aware that when I was heavier I externalized my self-hatred on the people at the baseball game (i.e., I assumed they were as critical of me as I was) so I could have a double-source of discomfort.

Boy, this sure is a lot of busy work! Did I even have a chance to enjoy the ballgame? Anyways, I am awkwardly learning about self-love. My self-loathing does like to make an appearance and enjoys several encore performances at times :>

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Thanks, ladies! Sometimes knowing others are dealing with the same issues as I am makes it a but easier. And boy do I ever know about self-hatred/loathing!! I have missed out on so much of life, ended so many relationships, due to those feelings. It's quite sad actually. But I'm determined to find a way to rise above it and enjoy my new life as a "getting healthier" person. I'm going to fight the need for validation from others and celebrate my hard work and healthy choices. I'm going to find a way to live in the moment instead of worrying/caring about what others think. I saw a quote that really resonated with me: "What others think of me is none of my business." Perfect!! I just bought myself a bracelet with the engraving: "She believed she could, so she did". Ladies, we CAN and we WILL!

Here's to conquering the demons!

Jen

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