Heading down the rabbit hole...
I feel a bit like Alice. I am starting a journey and don't know exactly where it will lead. In the past, I have tried different weight loss programs only to lose my motivation, cheat and give up when I saw no results. I am now at a point in my life where I am done. I am done with disrespecting myself, with not seeing myself as a person valuable enough to put in the effort for. I put others first. I have not been willing to commit the time and funds necessary to myself thinking that it would be selfish to do so. I have not been willing to inconvenience others by putting myself first when I needed to. I am done with all of that. I look at the person in this photo and cringe. Not because I am disgusted with how I look but because I know how I felt in that photo. I felt out of shape, left out, tired, and yes...ugly.
I am at a critical time in my life. I am old enough to need to make this change now but young enough to be able to make it. Why am I willing to do the work now? Because my boys, who I love with all I am, are going to be leaving home soon. Right now is the time I have to be active with them and I can't do the activities I want to do because of this weight. I need to be healthy NOW. I am ready to work at it. I am ready to commit to it. I am ready to sacrifice for it. I want to be able to climb the entire rock wall at the gym. I want to be able to hike 5 miles up a mountain and then have the energy for a little dance at the top. I want to complete a half-marathon. I want to be small enough to wear the cute clothes and the high heels. I want to look sexy and healthy. I want my sassy insides to match my sassy outsides.
I am committed to doing what it takes each day of this journey. I will eat enough healthy food to fuel my body. I will move my body each day in different, challenging ways. I will journal my feelings instead of covering them up with food. I will reach out to people around me, finding support in places I didn't know I had any. I will choose one new activity to do each month. My first is my first 5K which I will run/walk with family in September. In October, I have signed up for a trail 5K which I will take on by myself trying to beat my previous time. In November, we will be going to the Bahamas and I will wear a swim suit and feel good about myself in it. More to come...
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