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Going The Distance

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About this blog

It's a new year, it's time to do something new.

Entries in this blog

 

A life of food.

That lesson as a child to clean your plate because there are starving children in the world who would love the opportunity to clean any plate. That one is the one that pisses me off the most. The very real process of bringing guilt to food that started so young. It's hard for me now to leave food. Even if I feel like I'm full, that guilt which is now more of a habit then a conscious thought about starving children, forces me to clean that plate.   I don't do that to my own children. If

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

A life of food.

That lesson as a child to clean your plate because there are starving children in the world who would love the opportunity to clean any plate. That one is the one that pisses me off the most. The very real process of bringing guilt to food that started so young. It's hard for me now to leave food. Even if I feel like I'm full, that guilt which is now more of a habit then a conscious thought about starving children, forces me to clean that plate.   I don't do that to my own children. If

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Back.

I'm back. I had some health problems, fell into a 9 month depression that I still haven't quite kicked, but I'm ready to lose the weight that I've regained. This time around feels a little easier. My husband is more supportive and I'm a little pissed off that all the cute outfits I bought don't fit anymore. I now resemble a stuffed sausage when I put them on, so they will just stay in the closet for now.   Time to get my life back on track.

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

The fat monster

Week 3 came to a close on Wednesday and my loss is at 7 lbs. It hasn't been easy for me, every day has been a struggle and certainly every ounce lost has been an exercise in willpower. There are some ladies on these forums that really display their weight loss journey as "easy". I'm envious. I've had some wins, I haven't touched soda in 3 weeks and the dog now gets the scraps that I would normally eat off the kids plates. ( i hate diet soda). I drink more water than I do coffee and now when

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Super what Sunday?

My husband and I usually have a small Super Bowl party. This year it was sort of a non issue because he had to go into work at 8 pm and so no party, which is better for me because the best thing about the Super Bowl is the commercials, the half time show and the food! This year was so strange, we treated today as just another day. I was really wanting wings and beer. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever know how to eat on my own again. The silver lining. A pair of my pants are a lot more bagg

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

A little laughter

A friend of mine sent this to me and I laughed for the better part of 10 minutes. Hope you like it too:) If you can't see the image, let me know and I'll retry.

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Day 11

I was irritable, I felt left out, I was in denial and now I'm somewhere between chocolate cake and acceptance. There is such a place, my arms reaching for the food but then I remember why I'm doing this, cuss and pull my arm back. There are a lot of optimistic women on the forums, and I couldn't be more grateful. When I'm feeling particularly ugly, i jump on the treadmill and if that doesn't help, I surf the forums. Then I calm down and remind myself that this didn't happen in a day, it was

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

First 7 days complete

I weigh myself every morning. This past week I've held my breath every single morning, not because I'm expecting to lose but because I'm expecting to gain. My weight in the last week has been sliding downward which is great but better is that I haven't had huge fluctuations. This morning I was the exact same as yesterday morning. What a relief. That one very weird small aspect is enough this week. Tomorrow is m official weigh in for week one. And I'm more concerned that the scale will sudd

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Around and around I go

I'm a runner. I often use running and yoga to manage stress and anxiety but since starting on this program 5 days ago, I've only run and done yoga once, which is really bad for me. I ran on Friday and the 1200 calories didn't cut it. I didn't cheat, but 5 miles is 500 calories and losing those calories made me weak. Same with the power yoga. I'm training for the marathon this May and I can't see running the half at this rate. For now I'll cut back or at least find out if I can use the gels

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

I hate photos of myself.

Ever since I put on this weight I've found myself constantly hiding from the camera, hiding from the evidence. I also avoid mirrors. In the last year I've been spending more time in front of the camera, and not because I have a new found confidence or I'm comfortable with the way I look but mostly because I don't want to disappear from my life or my family's life. Fat me still counts. Day 3 went well. Today I was more feeling sad because I was missing my cooking and knowing how big a rol

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Secrets

Day 1 complete, Day 2 has begun. The food was so much better than it looked, and at no time was I feeling the need to cheat. Honeymoon phase? Maybe. What I didn't anticipate was the bloating, sweating and gas. I'll be buying some anti-gas remedies today to help me while I adjust through the first couple of weeks. I haven't told anyone about what I'm doing beyond my husband and kids. Not even my closest friend. I'm not embarrassed, nor am I shy about such things. Maybe I want to run in

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Day uno.

8:30 a.m. And the Jenny consultant was right on time. Admittedly, the conversation seemed a bit scripted but she answered all my questions and was very nice. As time goes on I am certain the conversation will feel more personal.. So the cinnamon rolls were surprisingly good. Shocked. I was expecting the food to taste like cardboard. I live in Fargo, ND and it's currently there is a blizzard which keeps me in the house and not having to worry about outside influences. I threw out a pa

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

 

Tomorrow is D-day

Here is how I got to day 1. A few weeks ago, I was in a dressing room trying on pants. I've been putting off buying pants for longer than I care to admit because I was always going to lose weight. Anyway, I hadn't lost the weight and I really needed some pants. I'm usually so good at avoiding mirrors, but in a dressing room you are almost surrounded by them and so a person would have to close their eyes and blindly feel their way around, which I was willing to do if it meant not seeing what

kramerincolor

kramerincolor

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