I joined JC over 15 years ago and lost 45 lbs but didn't learn how to maintain. I gained it all back plus some, got older and everything about my life slowed to a snails pace. We moved to Floirda to be close to grandkids and after hearing them tell me how fat I am forced me to come back to JC and realize that I can't keep up with them ...nor will I be around to be with them if I don't get this weight off and keep it off. I started back on the program last Sept and have lost 15 pounds. I began walking with my dog twice a day for about a mile each time every day. But, I get no support from anywhere, no motivation, I'm setting here crying because I know this weight will come back if I don't change "How I Think!" I still think about food all the time like a fat person thinks. How do you change your way of thinking to "Think Like a Thin Person Thinks"? My consultant has me in and out in 15 minutes and never has the time to visit or share any advise or anything. She is skinny as a rail and looks like she never had to worry about a pound in her life! How can she relate to me? I feel like I'm way out there in left field all by myself with "NO TOOLS" to help me win this battle and keep the victory. I understand that it is my ultimate responsibility to not put that extra bite of food in my mouth, but I need something to help me learn how to turn off this voice in my head that says "Just one little slip up on the diet won't hurt...just going out to eat the wrong food won't hurt". Everytime I walk into the kitchen I feel I HAVE to eat something and I usually do. All the while I have this other voice saying "You shouldn't be doing that, that little moment of pleasure won't be worth it when you step on the scales!" I'm 59 only 5' tall and weigh 184 now....I've got at least 70 pounds to go!
2
I'm back but How to Change Thinking?
Started by Robbie the Quilter, Feb 07 2012 08:29 AM
12 replies to this topic
#2
-
- Members
-
- 4,676 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 07 February 2012 - 08:54 AM
Hi Robbie!
If you want support, you've come to the right place. We've all been where you are - to one degree or another - and we'll help you through this as best we can.
First, congrats on coming back to JC! You've got so much to live healthy for and I'm so glad you made the decision to do this for yourself.
As for your JCC, is it possible that she was heavy and lost the weight? I'd ask her. LOL My JCC had had weight issues but was also a JC client so she did understand her clients well.
Anyway, okay, you're right. You DO have to LEARN to develop a totally new relationship with food that will last you for the rest of your life and you CAN do that. Sooooo many of us here on the boards have done it and you can too!
I was in my late 50s when I first signed up with JC and, like you, at 5'2, I'm also a "shorty."
I lost 45 lbs., kept it off for four years, did a couple of stupid things, gained about 10 lbs and RAN back to JC. And it turned out to be a good thing in a way because it gave me an opp to see this as a "refresher course."
The older we get, the slower the weight comes off and while that's frustrating it also can be looked at as a "gift" because it gives us time to re-train our brains. I mean, if you've had a weight issue for years, then it's going to take a while for your brain to stop thinking like a "fat" person and start looking at food as a thin person sees it.
Food is NOT meant to be looked at as a stress reliever, a boredom buster, as pleasure or anything other than what it's meant to be - nutrition. That's it. It's fuel to help our body run.
Sure, you should enjoy what you're eating but you shouldn't be eating more than your body needs and when you do, the only one you're hurting is yourself.
In your case, however, you're also hurting your grandkids because they are worried about you and you can't enjoy the time with them as much as you should be able to and you're risking not being around them as much as you would like. So, that's fantastic motivation to get on track and stay on track.
Congrats too for starting to exercise more. The more calories you burn, the more weight you'll lose.
I didn't have the Metabolic Max device available when I first lost the weight and I didn't need it to lose the 10 lbs., BUT there are MANY folks on these boards who do use it and have found it to be VERY helpful. It's an investment but it's an investment in your health and wouldn't you rather spend the money on something that will help you get thinner and healthier rather than giving it (and a lot more) to your doctor? So I'm sure some of the folks will talk to you about this.
Here are a couple of tricks that helped me "learn" about food and the way to eat.
Take your JC meal out of the container and put it on a regular-sized dinner plate. It helps for a couple of reasons. For one, it makes you feel less like you're eating a frozen dinner and two, it also helps your brain to register just what a "normal" portion is supposed to look like. So fill up about a quarter to a half of your plate with the JC meal and fill the rest of the plate up with non-starchy veggies.
You will be amazed at how you'll learn to enjoy veggies. You can bake, broil, boil, microwave, roast, fry (in Pam), steam or grill them. You can change up combinations, add different herbs and spices and they will become really yummy and filling.
Make sure you drink a MINIMUM of 64 oz of water a day. That's 8, 8-oz. glasses of water (not diet soda). If you're like me and you're not a water drinker, you can flavor the water with Crystal Light or Mio (it's a small bottle usually sold near the diet water flavorings that you can add to your water wherever you are and you can easily keep it in your purse so you're always prepared).
Make sure you ALWAYS have some great fresh veggies on hand. Clean them and cut them up and put them in baggies so you can have them on hand to snack on whenever you get the urge (like the trips to your kitchen where you feel you "need" to eat something - although, to be honest, you should try VERY hard to break that particular habit).
I also keep low-sodium veggie juice on hand - like V-8 or Motts. It adds to your veggies for the day and it's also filling and tasty.
You're in Florida, like me, so you know the weather is giving you lots of opps to be outside and do more exercise. Walking your dog is great but try to get some other activities in there or start extending your walks a little further. You'll benefit from that and your dog will be thrilled.
Anyway, I'm sure you'll have others of us offering advice. And PLEASE come to the boards often. We're all here and we're all ready to cheer you on, offer tips, answer questions, listen to you vent and just to have a good time with a great group of folks.
You can do this and we WANT to help, so please let us!
If you want support, you've come to the right place. We've all been where you are - to one degree or another - and we'll help you through this as best we can.
First, congrats on coming back to JC! You've got so much to live healthy for and I'm so glad you made the decision to do this for yourself.
As for your JCC, is it possible that she was heavy and lost the weight? I'd ask her. LOL My JCC had had weight issues but was also a JC client so she did understand her clients well.
Anyway, okay, you're right. You DO have to LEARN to develop a totally new relationship with food that will last you for the rest of your life and you CAN do that. Sooooo many of us here on the boards have done it and you can too!
I was in my late 50s when I first signed up with JC and, like you, at 5'2, I'm also a "shorty."
I lost 45 lbs., kept it off for four years, did a couple of stupid things, gained about 10 lbs and RAN back to JC. And it turned out to be a good thing in a way because it gave me an opp to see this as a "refresher course."
The older we get, the slower the weight comes off and while that's frustrating it also can be looked at as a "gift" because it gives us time to re-train our brains. I mean, if you've had a weight issue for years, then it's going to take a while for your brain to stop thinking like a "fat" person and start looking at food as a thin person sees it.
Food is NOT meant to be looked at as a stress reliever, a boredom buster, as pleasure or anything other than what it's meant to be - nutrition. That's it. It's fuel to help our body run.
Sure, you should enjoy what you're eating but you shouldn't be eating more than your body needs and when you do, the only one you're hurting is yourself.
In your case, however, you're also hurting your grandkids because they are worried about you and you can't enjoy the time with them as much as you should be able to and you're risking not being around them as much as you would like. So, that's fantastic motivation to get on track and stay on track.
Congrats too for starting to exercise more. The more calories you burn, the more weight you'll lose.
I didn't have the Metabolic Max device available when I first lost the weight and I didn't need it to lose the 10 lbs., BUT there are MANY folks on these boards who do use it and have found it to be VERY helpful. It's an investment but it's an investment in your health and wouldn't you rather spend the money on something that will help you get thinner and healthier rather than giving it (and a lot more) to your doctor? So I'm sure some of the folks will talk to you about this.
Here are a couple of tricks that helped me "learn" about food and the way to eat.
Take your JC meal out of the container and put it on a regular-sized dinner plate. It helps for a couple of reasons. For one, it makes you feel less like you're eating a frozen dinner and two, it also helps your brain to register just what a "normal" portion is supposed to look like. So fill up about a quarter to a half of your plate with the JC meal and fill the rest of the plate up with non-starchy veggies.
You will be amazed at how you'll learn to enjoy veggies. You can bake, broil, boil, microwave, roast, fry (in Pam), steam or grill them. You can change up combinations, add different herbs and spices and they will become really yummy and filling.
Make sure you drink a MINIMUM of 64 oz of water a day. That's 8, 8-oz. glasses of water (not diet soda). If you're like me and you're not a water drinker, you can flavor the water with Crystal Light or Mio (it's a small bottle usually sold near the diet water flavorings that you can add to your water wherever you are and you can easily keep it in your purse so you're always prepared).
Make sure you ALWAYS have some great fresh veggies on hand. Clean them and cut them up and put them in baggies so you can have them on hand to snack on whenever you get the urge (like the trips to your kitchen where you feel you "need" to eat something - although, to be honest, you should try VERY hard to break that particular habit).
I also keep low-sodium veggie juice on hand - like V-8 or Motts. It adds to your veggies for the day and it's also filling and tasty.
You're in Florida, like me, so you know the weather is giving you lots of opps to be outside and do more exercise. Walking your dog is great but try to get some other activities in there or start extending your walks a little further. You'll benefit from that and your dog will be thrilled.
Anyway, I'm sure you'll have others of us offering advice. And PLEASE come to the boards often. We're all here and we're all ready to cheer you on, offer tips, answer questions, listen to you vent and just to have a good time with a great group of folks.
You can do this and we WANT to help, so please let us!
Phyllis
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
#3
-
- Members
-
- 601 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 07 February 2012 - 12:11 PM
Hi Robbie! So glad to see that you've come back to JC and are headed in the right direction! Phyllis is just amazing and so helpful! I am new to JC but have yo-yoed my whole life with weight so I too am trying to retrain my brain once and for all! It's a daily struggle and sometimes easier than others, but don't be afraid to open up, don't be afraid to switch JCC if you need to and your motivation has to come from within which is also hard. Start reading on these boards, start a self help book, start posting post it notes with encouragement on them at various places in your house. Start by placing one foot in front of the other with these baby steps and soon your confidence will grow. It's only been a month for me, but I feel better and that is my motivation even on a "bad" week. I would suggest journaling too............someday you can look back and remind yourself of where you started and see where you will go!
You can do this and these boards are great for support! Keep at it!
You can do this and these boards are great for support! Keep at it!
~~MICHELLE
#4
-
- Members
-
- 5 posts
Newbie
Posted 09 February 2012 - 03:02 PM
Thanks to both of you for your honesty and concern! You both had great techniques that I will certainly try to incorporate in this daily struggle. I do have the armband and used it the first few months last fall but stopped. It did help, I must admit. The water issue is a big one for me. I know I need to drink alot more water and I will definitely get that started effective today. My main struggle is my family wanting to eat out alot and I have got to figure out better ways of manageing that issue. When I'm at home I do OK and stay pretty close to everything on the menus. Phyllis I must say that you are all over these boards with advise and I admire your concern for others....that's what helps the most is listening to someone who has been there and knows what we are going through. Thanks.
#5
-
- Members
-
- 4,676 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 09 February 2012 - 03:52 PM
Robbie, happy to help!
Listen, most restaurants (even the fast food places) have their menus either posted online or you can make some "healthy" choices when you're out dining. So you CAN go out and eat (if you must although it's easier to stay on the JC meals until you have a true handle on the situation) but you have to learn to make healthier choices when you go out and not be persuaded to eat "off plan."
And, yes, the water is a problem for most of us. But think of it this way. Let's say you're up 16 hours a day. That means that you only have to drink a 4 oz. (half cup) of water (or Crystal Light or water flavored with Mio) every hour. Or, of course, you can have one 8 oz. glass an hour for 8 hours.
It's like anything else. You just have to get into the habit of doing it and before you know it, you'll do it automatically just like any "habit." You can do this! I KNOW you can!
Listen, most restaurants (even the fast food places) have their menus either posted online or you can make some "healthy" choices when you're out dining. So you CAN go out and eat (if you must although it's easier to stay on the JC meals until you have a true handle on the situation) but you have to learn to make healthier choices when you go out and not be persuaded to eat "off plan."
And, yes, the water is a problem for most of us. But think of it this way. Let's say you're up 16 hours a day. That means that you only have to drink a 4 oz. (half cup) of water (or Crystal Light or water flavored with Mio) every hour. Or, of course, you can have one 8 oz. glass an hour for 8 hours.
It's like anything else. You just have to get into the habit of doing it and before you know it, you'll do it automatically just like any "habit." You can do this! I KNOW you can!
Phyllis
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
#6
-
- Members
-
- 3 posts
Newbie
Posted 14 February 2012 - 11:50 AM
I can relate to your concern about wanting/needing to keep up with your granchildren. I also love food and tend to be an emotional eater. Yet I have teenage kids, (am 47 and 40 pounds overweight) and I want to be healthy enough to keep up with my hectic schedule with them, and elder care for both my mother and aunt. When my weight goes too high, I get debilitating back pains and knee pains and sometimes can't move for a minute and need to lie down. I also have read that excess weight is connected to hearing problems (which I'm predisposed to), because extra weight raises the triglycerides and lowers your HDL which is linked to hearing loss. It certainly helps to have good hearing when you're a caregiver.
These health motivations have helped me recently, as well as simply trying to first drink a cup of water or eat a yogurt or a fruit each time I'm hungry beyond my alotted calories. It also helps me to take even just a 10 minute walk. I hope these tips help, because I can definitely relate.
These health motivations have helped me recently, as well as simply trying to first drink a cup of water or eat a yogurt or a fruit each time I'm hungry beyond my alotted calories. It also helps me to take even just a 10 minute walk. I hope these tips help, because I can definitely relate.
#7
-
- Members
-
- 131 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 15 February 2012 - 12:15 PM
When I first started doing MOMOs, I made a list of things that I could have, and stuck to my own list.
Grilled chicken salads (but see whats on it, and ask for no cheese or whatever the offender may be)
Vegetable plate (mac and cheese is not a veg)
Piece of grilled meat and a veg or salad (smaller like a burger patty)
You get my drift.
If I ate my own cereal, I measured it out.
for snacks, I only did 100 calorie
This is very do-able, if you make up your mind. After a while, what I should be eating felt like second nature. If someone encouraged me to have something that I shouldn't have, I told them no thanks, I'm having what I want. I think limiting myself, made it easier for me to handle, as I have also regained in the past. Good luck!
Grilled chicken salads (but see whats on it, and ask for no cheese or whatever the offender may be)
Vegetable plate (mac and cheese is not a veg)
Piece of grilled meat and a veg or salad (smaller like a burger patty)
You get my drift.
If I ate my own cereal, I measured it out.
for snacks, I only did 100 calorie
This is very do-able, if you make up your mind. After a while, what I should be eating felt like second nature. If someone encouraged me to have something that I shouldn't have, I told them no thanks, I'm having what I want. I think limiting myself, made it easier for me to handle, as I have also regained in the past. Good luck!
Robin
On maintenance since March 2010!
On maintenance since March 2010!
#8
-
- Members
-
- 19 posts
Member
Posted 17 February 2012 - 05:55 PM
Robbie,
I've read your post and the responses and felt that I should tell you what worked for me. It sounds like you have what I like to call a diet saboteur. We would all like to think that our family is supportive and loves us but in reality a few of us live in environments where the other folks in the house aren't supportive.
However in many cases it isn't because they are cruel or mean it is because we don't express our needs and how their behavior affects us.
For example once I told my partner that his desire to eat out all of the time and then teasing me about not finishing all of the food on my plate was hurtful and not supportive. He stopped. He didn't realize that asking me to make two separate meals at home was torturing me. After I explained this we made a few adjustments.
Now I cook the vegetable which we share and he is responsible for anything else he wants to eat. If he needs help with a recipe I will help him, but it isn't my responsibility to cook two meals. If he wants to eat out. I cook my JC meal before hand and have a garden salad or steamed veggie side with no butter at the restaurant. If there is absolutely no way to do that I use my dining out app on my phone to make a better choice, cut it into the correct portion and put the uneaten parts on a separate plate which goes in a to-go box or he eats....and guess what....no rude clean your plate comments.....all it took was me sitting down and calmly explaining why I needed the changes and support.
Our familes love us, obviously your grandkids do because they are worried about you, if you explain to them that this is what you have to do so that you can be the skinny grandma they can have around for many more years I bet they will quickly become your biggest advocates to stay home and cook out rather than hitting that restaurant.
Please let me know if this is helpful, I sure hope that it works for you like it did me, I can't tell you how many months I went around the first time I did JC about 5 years ago just totally angry....this time it is so much easier because we know what to do
Best of luck!
I've read your post and the responses and felt that I should tell you what worked for me. It sounds like you have what I like to call a diet saboteur. We would all like to think that our family is supportive and loves us but in reality a few of us live in environments where the other folks in the house aren't supportive.
However in many cases it isn't because they are cruel or mean it is because we don't express our needs and how their behavior affects us.
For example once I told my partner that his desire to eat out all of the time and then teasing me about not finishing all of the food on my plate was hurtful and not supportive. He stopped. He didn't realize that asking me to make two separate meals at home was torturing me. After I explained this we made a few adjustments.
Now I cook the vegetable which we share and he is responsible for anything else he wants to eat. If he needs help with a recipe I will help him, but it isn't my responsibility to cook two meals. If he wants to eat out. I cook my JC meal before hand and have a garden salad or steamed veggie side with no butter at the restaurant. If there is absolutely no way to do that I use my dining out app on my phone to make a better choice, cut it into the correct portion and put the uneaten parts on a separate plate which goes in a to-go box or he eats....and guess what....no rude clean your plate comments.....all it took was me sitting down and calmly explaining why I needed the changes and support.
Our familes love us, obviously your grandkids do because they are worried about you, if you explain to them that this is what you have to do so that you can be the skinny grandma they can have around for many more years I bet they will quickly become your biggest advocates to stay home and cook out rather than hitting that restaurant.
Please let me know if this is helpful, I sure hope that it works for you like it did me, I can't tell you how many months I went around the first time I did JC about 5 years ago just totally angry....this time it is so much easier because we know what to do
Best of luck!
#9
-
- Members
-
- 4,676 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 17 February 2012 - 05:58 PM
Hi Boxador Mom! Welcome to the forums!
You give such great advice. Hope you'll be joining us more often where we can lend you support!
You give such great advice. Hope you'll be joining us more often where we can lend you support!
Phyllis
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
#10
-
- Members
-
- 582 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 18 February 2012 - 05:32 AM
Yes, you are asking THE question!!
It is all about the food. It is so not about the food.
Make sense?
I have to find/relearn ways to nurture myself that seemingly take more effort than zoning out in front of the TV with food.
Yesterday I got myself a quality haircut that I had been rebelling against. Today I'm going to yoga when I'd rather stay home.
Why? Because these are the uncomfortable things that feel selfish but ultimately lead to my freedom.
It is all about the food. It is so not about the food.
Make sense?
I have to find/relearn ways to nurture myself that seemingly take more effort than zoning out in front of the TV with food.
Yesterday I got myself a quality haircut that I had been rebelling against. Today I'm going to yoga when I'd rather stay home.
Why? Because these are the uncomfortable things that feel selfish but ultimately lead to my freedom.
#11
-
- Members
-
- 5 posts
Newbie
Posted 18 February 2012 - 03:49 PM
Thanks to all of you for your great advice. I've done much better staying on the food plan this week and drinking my water and getting my exercise in twice a day. I have to admit to all the world that my biggest diet sabotour is "ME". I am the one that doesn't want to stay home and cook I am constantly wanting to go let others wait on me. Wow! I said it! I keep blaming everyone else and it really is me. My husband is supportive and my daughter and her family and kids are supportive and try not to tempt me....I have to learn to not think about food all the time! This week I did a better job and hopefully it will show up on the scales on Tuesday morning. My daughter even tried to get me to go to Zumba this week with her and I went but I couldn't do it. My body just won't let me do that anymore....so I will keep to my 2 miles a day walking and hope that it becomes a real habit that I crave everyday and make a life adjustment to do everyday.
#12
-
- Members
-
- 4,676 posts
Advanced Member
Posted 18 February 2012 - 06:18 PM
Robbie the Quilter, on 18 February 2012 - 03:49 PM, said:
Thanks to all of you for your great advice. I've done much better staying on the food plan this week and drinking my water and getting my exercise in twice a day. I have to admit to all the world that my biggest diet sabotour is "ME". I am the one that doesn't want to stay home and cook I am constantly wanting to go let others wait on me. Wow! I said it! I keep blaming everyone else and it really is me. My husband is supportive and my daughter and her family and kids are supportive and try not to tempt me....I have to learn to not think about food all the time! This week I did a better job and hopefully it will show up on the scales on Tuesday morning. My daughter even tried to get me to go to Zumba this week with her and I went but I couldn't do it. My body just won't let me do that anymore....so I will keep to my 2 miles a day walking and hope that it becomes a real habit that I crave everyday and make a life adjustment to do everyday.
Robbie, it's great that you've recognized that we're the one who is usually our own worse enemy. So congrats for making that revelation, exercising and understanding that YOU are the one who is responsible for making your own changes to be a healthier YOU!
Yes, it takes time but understand that most of us have spent a lifetime of bad eating habits, so re-learning all we know about food - or how we look at food - is going to take time. So let that time be a gift to you to give you an opp to retrain your brain.
It won't happen overnight but if you recognize warning signs and "speed bumps" you can complete this journey and get to your goal being a smarter, stronger and THINNER you!
Phyllis
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
Height: 5'2
SW - 177.6
Goal! - 132
Returning Weight - 143
CW - GOAL AGAIN!!!
Before JC with hubby and nephews in 2006/After JC (2nd time) in 2011
After JC 10/11
#13
-
- Members
-
- 19 posts
Member
Posted 18 February 2012 - 07:29 PM
That's great Robbie! It sounds like you are trying new things and sticking with it. Even though Zumba wasn't for you, you should be proud of yourself for giving it a try....my better half and I are trying to find things to do that don't involve eating out so much and found that the living social adventures can be fun....(you do have to avoid the food oriented ones and there are a lot of them) however we are thinking of taking dancing lessons and already got a groupon for cheap massages....now I just have to get my miles in to "earn" my treat....keep going girl.....you can do it!!!
Besides if I can stay on this diet in New Orleans during Mardi Gras I have faith anyone can
(the key to success, you ask, celebrate less with king cake and dance more LOL!!!)
Besides if I can stay on this diet in New Orleans during Mardi Gras I have faith anyone can
(the key to success, you ask, celebrate less with king cake and dance more LOL!!!)
1 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users
