8 replies to this topic

[vgh123]

hello all,

please help me with this issue. i have lost 89 lbs and i am almost at the finish line. i have done this by sticking to jc. i have only gone off plan once since i started... on my birthday. this means, that thanksgiving, christmas and any other celebration was jenny. so my dilemma is, i am a bridesmaid in a wedding next month. the bride sent out an email to all of the girls stating that she is making hand made chocolates (she is a baker) for everyone, and the rehearsal dinner will most likely be bbq, and god knows how much food with butter will be at the wedding. i know jenny promotes being able to swap out meals but i made a promise to myself that i would not go off plan for any reason until i hit my goal with an exception of my birthday (since it was the 40th). i truly believe that if i cheat on the promise i made to myself, thats the ultimate no-no (like cheating on your husband).

i think with all that is going on, the bride is not considering my diet in her thought process. so, should i remind her of this now before she spends the money? should i tell her to have a special meal for me? should i just decline the food at the time of the wedding? i have not had an problems declining eating out with folks even though people talk about me behind my back. i dont really care what they think. but i do care what she thinks since she is one of my closest friends. but i dont want to appear ike i am not supporting her like a bridesmaid should. i think she is already mad at me because i didnt look too hot in any of her favorite dresses, so she had to change her entire look. lol. any feedback

on this issue would be appreciated.

thanks!
v-

[theatrenut]

This is the bride's day. If I were you, I would simply eat the way I need to eat at the time, even if that means declining a lot of the food. Depending on her personality, you might tell her ahead of time not to take it personally if you eat little, that you're keeping your commitment to yourself. If she offers to adjust, fine - that would be very nice of her. But I would never ask for something special at such an event.

Depending on the venue, you may be able to unobtrusively request a simply salad, unadorned meat, etc. If not, eat before or after, enjoy what you can and treat it like the celebratory event that it is - aside from the food.

[skinnylady2011]

hello all,

please help me with this issue. i have lost 89 lbs and i am almost at the finish line. i have done this by sticking to jc. i have only gone off plan once since i started... on my birthday. this means, that thanksgiving, christmas and any other celebration was jenny. so my dilemma is, i am a bridesmaid in a wedding next month. the bride sent out an email to all of the girls stating that she is making hand made chocolates (she is a baker) for everyone, and the rehearsal dinner will most likely be bbq, and god knows how much food with butter will be at the wedding. i know jenny promotes being able to swap out meals but i made a promise to myself that i would not go off plan for any reason until i hit my goal with an exception of my birthday (since it was the 40th). i truly believe that if i cheat on the promise i made to myself, thats the ultimate no-no (like cheating on your husband).

i think with all that is going on, the bride is not considering my diet in her thought process. so, should i remind her of this now before she spends the money? should i tell her to have a special meal for me? should i just decline the food at the time of the wedding? i have not had an problems declining eating out with folks even though people talk about me behind my back. i dont really care what they think. but i do care what she thinks since she is one of my closest friends. but i dont want to appear ike i am not supporting her like a bridesmaid should. i think she is already mad at me because i didnt look too hot in any of her favorite dresses, so she had to change her entire look. lol. any feedback

on this issue would be appreciated.

thanks!
v-

Yes, I agree. it is the bride's day which has nothing to do with your dietery needs. I understand your issue and I feel for you because I've been there. look, eat the salad and the grilled vegetables. There will be chicken which is always a good choice. If you want a burger, have one. Less the cheese or maybe half the bun. WOrk with it. Don't panic. Have a salad for lunch andsave your calories so you can have a piece of cake! if you depive yourself all the time, you will binge one day. Plan, plan, plan!

[JennyCaps]

This sounds like a dilemma, but one that can be easily solved. Simply put- you have had a huge amount of success on the program. You've proven to yourself that you can "cheat" on your birthday and get right back to it. The program is designed so you can still go to weddings and parties. At the bbq I am sure there will be side salads of some sort. If you are having a burger, cut it in half before you start eating and just eat that half. No cheese. Add tons of veggies to your burger so you feel full.

As for those chocolates, take them- thank the bride for them- and tell her this will be the first splurge you allow yourself when you hit your goal. Put them in your freezer and then when you do hit your goal- invite her over for some girl time and allow yourself a splurge. Work it off by going out dancing that night with your girlfriend.

As for the wedding itself--- I've never been to a wedding where there weren't veggies on the side. Despite popular opinion, you can ask the banquet organizer to make you a special meal. If you don't feel comfortable telling them you are on a diet- tell them you are lactose intolerant or allergic to dairy, so ask for your meat to be served without butter. Ask for extra veggies on the side. Almost all weddings have at least four courses, so skip the ones that don't seem healthy. If you don't feel comfortable asking for a special meal- ask for an extra plate. Take half the meal off your plate before you start eating and put it on the extra plate. Then you won't be as tempted to continue to eat.

And lastly--- any friend of mine would never be upset that I didn't look slim in a dress. If she hasn't come right out and told you she is upset about your look- maybe that is just you being self conscious about it. You have lost 89lbs. That is such an amazing accomplishment! Own it! Be proud of it and you will be the most beautiful bridesmaid there!

Good luck!

[vgh123]

Thanks all! I sort of figured this is the response i would get. i have to face it i suppose. but thats a good point about the chocolate, telling her that i am taking it home. i will just eat jenny both days throughout the day and for the rehearsal dinner bbq, i will eat a sald, and the wedding, i will eat the chicken & veggies. just the proper portion sizes. i hope it doesnt derail my goal to much. on my birthday i gained 2 lbs. so i can make some changes this time.

[Vai60]

Thanks all! I sort of figured this is the response i would get. i have to face it i suppose. but thats a good point about the chocolate, telling her that i am taking it home. i will just eat jenny both days throughout the day and for the rehearsal dinner bbq, i will eat a sald, and the wedding, i will eat the chicken & veggies. just the proper portion sizes. i hope it doesnt derail my goal to much. on my birthday i gained 2 lbs. so i can make some changes this time.

Hi , I would not even tell her I am taking them home, unless specifically asked about it. Simply accept the gift (it is a gift) and say "thank you", nothing more, and take them and stick them in your freezer.

I understand about the slight gain on your splurge day, sometimes that will happen simply because you are taking in more salt, than usual, and if you get back on it the next day, it is not weight that will stick.

Good for you, for never splurging in all that time!

Vai

[Linwalker]

Hi , I would not even tell her I am taking them home, unless specifically asked about it. Simply accept the gift (it is a gift) and say "thank you", nothing more, and take them and stick them in your freezer.

I understand about the slight gain on your splurge day, sometimes that will happen simply because you are taking in more salt, than usual, and if you get back on it the next day, it is not weight that will stick.

Good for you, for never splurging in all that time!

Vai

I can tell you what I would do though some might think it tacky or distasteful (lucky for me I don't care LOL) I went to a graduation party last week with barbeque. I brought my turkey burger with me and went over to the barbeque and asked the host if I may put it on the grill, he was happy to, no questions asked. I also attended a pampered chef party last week in which I brought my JC Chicken Mesquite.. the ladies were pretty cool and actually congratulated me for my resolve.. lucky for me the demonstrator was making a veggie pizza on the pampered chef pizza stone so I had a small slice to which she even had the nutritional value written down. To me it's about taking care of my needs first. i don't expect any host or hostess to go out of their way for me at all, and I've never encountered a problem when I brought my own food. At my husband's xmas party I brought my own food and they actually microwaved it for me with a smile. I always ask and I try to make light of it and 99.9% of the time people are understanding. I made the same pact as you did when I started.. I did NOT cheat once in 4 months until I hit my first goal..and even then I've only had some time off plan due to some medical problem's and then a slip on july 4th.. I'm human, you are too, so no matter what route you go, have a good time.

[Nova Karen]

The bride will be so distracted with everything going on, and so nervous, the last thing she will pay attention to is what you are eating. I would take the chocolates, say thank you, and throw them out. (Either at home or at the wedding, if you don't think you can handle having them so available.) Eat what you want to eat -- I worked at catered banquests for years, it was very common to receive special requests which we were always able to accomodate. Just ask for a plate of vegetables instead of your fish/chicken/beef dish, no one has to know but you and the waiter. If people see you eating vegetables, so what.

Your friend the bride is thrilled for you that you lost 89 pounds. (How many re-fittings have you had?) You can follow Jenny without shoving it in everyone's face, so to speak.

[NYmom413]

I think you should kindly tell the bride that 'hey i've worked so hard on my weight loss and your baking is amazing, but please dont take it personal if i avoid the goodies as my goal means a lot to me' she'll understand shes your friend, i would ask her if she could see to it that a healthy dish be offered at the bbq or maybe you could offer to bring something special? My friend is turning into a bridezilla also i don't get where it comes from, but with all the planning and excitement they get lost somewhere and don't realize when they are putting you in an uncomfortable position. Maybe you should offer to bring something, how could she say no, if not than definitely speak up, i would bring a jenny snack bar or anytime bar with you to the bbq and even the wedding. as far as the yummy chocolates she makes, regift them without her knowing of course maybe someone in your family would enjoy them... Just stick to your guns and be tough, you have done an awesome job so far so keep it up! maybe ask for a vegetarian dish or an extra salad at the wedding, thats not a big deal. tell someone that will be there about these chocolates and after you get them, kindly pass them off to whomever you told about them and say you have to try these! and walk away, all gone lol... problem solved! No one can force you to eat anything, you have amazing willpower to lose 89lbs so just remind yourself that you rock and you won't want to cheat.