24 replies to this topic

[Lisa1284]

Any ideas on how to handle jealous coworkers and friends? I met my goal weight and feel great.
I get my feelings hurt easily and find it difficult to respond to mean comments such as:

1. You should keep your heavier clothes since you will be back to your starting weight.
2. I'm looking at what thin women in the office are doing to look great so I picked (insert name...not mine) for advice.
3. Did you lose any weight?

I'm female and the first two comments came from a male coworker.
The third came from a good friend...it's pretty obvious that I lost weight.

I'm so shocked by these hurtful comments that sometimes I can't respond. It also really stresses me out and I feel angry all day.

[dietmama]

Congrats on your success Lisa! You should be so proud of yourself for meeting your goal! I'm just starting so I can only imagine how hard your journey has been.

I am not very good at confrontation unfortunately and am TERRIBLE at witty one line zingers but I had to reply to your post since it made my blood boil for you. I'm sure you will have tons of replies from very smart ladies who will tell you exactly what to say.

My advice is to let go of your hurt. You are a strong and amazing person who did a wonderful thing for herself and whoever treats you differently obviously has major issues of their own they need to deal with. I'm not saying ignore their comments b/c like I mentioned, I'm sure someone will tell you exactly what you can say BUT no matter what, don't let the situation alter your success in any way.

Regarding your friend, that's a tough one. I would probably have to talk to her and tell her what your feeling. It may be that she doesn't know how to approach you? Or doesn't know how to congratulate you? I may be stretching it...

Either way, good luck! I'll be checking in to see what other people offer.

Hopefully you feel from the board all the love and support you deserve!

[Lisa1284]

thank you so much for your loving comments and support....very good advice especially letting go of my anger. Wow...it's good to know that while there are bad people out there....there are also good people like you who took the time to write back such an uplifting reply.

keep up your good work...it is so worth it

[reddyrawks]

Any ideas on how to handle jealous coworkers and friends? I met my goal weight and feel great.
I get my feelings hurt easily and find it difficult to respond to mean comments such as:

1. You should keep your heavier clothes since you will be back to your starting weight.
2. I'm looking at what thin women in the office are doing to look great so I picked (insert name...not mine) for advice.
3. Did you lose any weight?

I'm female and the first two comments came from a male coworker.
The third came from a good friend...it's pretty obvious that I lost weight.

I'm so shocked by these hurtful comments that sometimes I can't respond. It also really stresses me out and I feel angry all day.

Where do you work at, a grade school?...it sounds like something a bunch of 10 year olds would say. In my opinion those people are extremely rude. Just look them square in the eye and tell them, "I may have weight issues, but it beats being so rude"

[Blessed4Life2]

Where do you work at, a grade school?...it sounds like something a bunch of 10 year olds would say. In my opinion those people are extremely rude. Just look them square in the eye and tell them, "I may have weight issues, but it beats being so rude"

LOL Jennifer girl.....you crack me up

Great advice here! Can we say JEALOUS???? Oh yeahhhh.

You could just ignore them and act like you didnt hear a thing. Sounds like they just want to get a rise out of you......walk away, you will look like the bigger person in the end......OHHH but say what jennifer said before walking away......love it!

[reddyrawks]

Pin it on us...just tell them "my friends Jennifer and Melissa said so" LOL!!!

[1sttimemom]

I had the same problem when I first started on the Jenny program. I work with women who are much older than me and they would say things like I shouldn't believe the 'hype' of these diet programs and that they've tried diets like this before and had no luck. It was very disappointing. I work with these women all day every week so we are all pretty close as it is, and then to hear this negativity... It was tough to deal with and made me feel discouraged.

What I would do is immediately email my husband, mom, sister, best friend, etc. Whoever gives you support. I would email my mom and tell her about the things they are saying and she would reinforce every positive aspect of this program and help make me realize that it doesn't matter what those other people are saying. It's usually jealousy! The women I work with are no where near a healthy weight so they were probably jealous that I'm taking my weight loss seriously and doing something about it!

Do you have a support system? If not, I would be more than happy to give you my email and I will be your support. I'm really good at listening and my friends say I give good advice

Let me know! And just keep telling yourself that this is what's best for YOU and it doesn't matter what those other people say!

*hugs*

[Be a Sexy Mom]

Great advice from some hot ladies

I am not good at one liners either so you are not alone in that boat.

Jealous....yes. Do you know the saying "misery loves company?" They are not happy with themselves so therefore can't offer words of encouragment because then they would be admitting that maybe they should do something too.

[brittney_1234]

I agree with everyone else..

I have a best friend who still has not acknowledged that I have lost weight. All of my other good friends will mention it around her and she would change the subject. Not one word to me about it! Then she started trying to lose weight a few weeks ago. I think these people are just unhappy with themselves and want to rain on your parade. Take it with a grain of salt. The most important thing is for you to not take it to heart and hurt your program! I'm definitely not one that is good with confrontation, but just know deep down in your heart that they are just jealous!

Congrats on your weight loss girl!

[Lisa1284]

Thank you so much for the offer and your concern. It means a lot to me.
I am very lucky and have a wonderful supportive husband and a loving family.
Sometimes I'm just shocked when people are so cruel it takes me a while to get over it. I'm doing much better now...I just fit into a suit today that I have not worn for 10 years!!!

I had the same problem when I first started on the Jenny program. I work with women who are much older than me and they would say things like I shouldn't believe the 'hype' of these diet programs and that they've tried diets like this before and had no luck. It was very disappointing. I work with these women all day every week so we are all pretty close as it is, and then to hear this negativity... It was tough to deal with and made me feel discouraged.

What I would do is immediately email my husband, mom, sister, best friend, etc. Whoever gives you support. I would email my mom and tell her about the things they are saying and she would reinforce every positive aspect of this program and help make me realize that it doesn't matter what those other people are saying. It's usually jealousy! The women I work with are no where near a healthy weight so they were probably jealous that I'm taking my weight loss seriously and doing something about it!

Do you have a support system? If not, I would be more than happy to give you my email and I will be your support. I'm really good at listening and my friends say I give good advice

Let me know! And just keep telling yourself that this is what's best for YOU and it doesn't matter what those other people say!

*hugs*

[becki w]

One thing that I have realized from another friend who's losing weight with me....she had always been the "fat" friend in her group. She's not anymore and the new "fat" friend isn't happy with the new title. So if you were the biggest one at work and not anymore....well, that's jealousy on their part, isn't it?

You know you're looking amazing and look for support from the family and friends who are big enough not to be selfish about their own insecurities.

[1sttimemom]

Thank you so much for the offer and your concern. It means a lot to me.
I am very lucky and have a wonderful supportive husband and a loving family.
Sometimes I'm just shocked when people are so cruel it takes me a while to get over it. I'm doing much better now...I just fit into a suit today that I have not worn for 10 years!!!

Wow!!!! Fitting into a suit you haven't been able to wear in 10 years is SUCH an accomplishment!!! Congratulations! Stay strong! I bet you love seeing those rewards

[fun2smile]

Couldn't walk away from this one because my first thought was like the one from someone earlier..where do you work? The next question, and this is not meant any particular way, but are these people your "friends" or just co-workers. The truth is most people have opinions about weight loss that would be almost impossible to change no matter if they are pro or con. Don't concern yourself with their comments because when you look at your results and yourself you know the truth! Congrats on your loss!

[mary2cat]

Lisa - great work! You have done an amazing job so far and I really think these hurtful comments come from other people's insecurities. "Misery loves company" is absolutely true. Just know that you did something amazing for yourself and are inspiring the rest of us as well!

[Me 1/2 Way]

Oh my goodness...I thought I was the only one that was experiencing this issue at work! I so relate to your experience and have chosen to take the higher road. I have the advantage of being able to be out of the office at meetings so I see the people who are very unsupportive less often than if I was always in the office...I never eat lunch with them...and I wear awesome clothes to work so I feel and look great and my co-workers' opinions and rudeness do not stick with me.... Focus on your success and look for support where you know you will get it and take the higher road with shaking your smaller bootie around with PRIDE...You go girl and know there are others out there experiencing the exact same thing! Hugs and well wishes for continued awesome success go out to you,

[Jess33777]

Any ideas on how to handle jealous coworkers and friends? I met my goal weight and feel great.
I get my feelings hurt easily and find it difficult to respond to mean comments such as:

1. You should keep your heavier clothes since you will be back to your starting weight.
2. I'm looking at what thin women in the office are doing to look great so I picked (insert name...not mine) for advice.
3. Did you lose any weight?

I'm female and the first two comments came from a male coworker.
The third came from a good friend...it's pretty obvious that I lost weight.

I'm so shocked by these hurtful comments that sometimes I can't respond. It also really stresses me out and I feel angry all day.

Lisa, I"m dealing with the same thing but not so much with friends but unfortunately my sister who up until my weight loss,I had a real close relationship with. Now it seems she is avoiding me and rarely asks how I'm doing in which I feel a little guilty about talking about my 30 lb loss because she seems to either cut me off or change the subject right away ( I am not one to gloat so its not that) but I know if the shoe was on the other foot I would hear from her daily about her success. I'm doing this for myself and myself only so I am trying not to let her lack of support hurt , my husband is my support and I just have to realize that that is her personality and not take it personally. I just wish it didn't effect our relationship.

[YonnieB]

It has been my experience that success is the best revenge. As frustrating as other people's comments can be, it is by quietly enjoying our own success that we begin to radiate a confidence and security that pretty much defies negative comments. From beginning to end, negative comments are absolutely, solely the problem of the person commenting. What can they truly say when success starts staring them in the face?

[Nobhill]

OK, here's my shot at responding [I always seem to think of the snappy responses days later, so these aren't really snappy, but they have worked for me when interacting with these same types of people]

1. You should keep your heavier clothes since you will be back to your starting weight.

Response: Really? [Say with complete innocence and naivete, add a wide eyed look for emphasis] Why do you say that? [Doesn't really matter what their response is. What are they going to say? This response just shows you aren't affected by the rude remarks.] As to what the person says, just tune them out.


2. I'm looking at what thin women in the office are doing to look great so I picked (insert name...not mine) for advice.

Response: Oh, that's nice. [Say with boredom and a complete lack of interest, and visualize swatting a gnat. After all, this is what that person is. Again, you showing that these comments don't affect you at all.]


3. Did you lose any weight?

Response: Duh! [said with a broad smile] Of course I lost weight! Can't you tell? Everyone else can. [Say this like the person is a total moron for even asking such a stupid question. Say this in a positive way, again indicating that these comments don't bother you in the least and that you are a patient saint for putting up with idiots who can't even notice obvious weight loss.]

Hope that helps...

Nobhill

[walk2lose]

Lisa,

Congrats on reaching your goal and for inspiring jealousy. Wooooo Hooooo!! Nothing says your doing really well like making the claws come out in those you know. Truly enjoy the fact that you are causing people to have their noses out of joint. I had similar situations where I use to work, so here are my thoughts after losing 84 lbs in 13 months.

1. On keeping your heavier clothes, just look them square in the eye and tell them that you are/or have donated them that there is no going back. Period end of story.

2. As for getting advice from the thin women in the office. Just give the thin women their kudos tell him they inspire you too. Then ask what plan he is going to use to take off his weight? It's a fair question. Tell him maybe you two can share tips with each other. Call him out, but in a way that leaves no marks.

3. Oh and the have you lost weight? The best reponse of all. For that one living well and keeping the weight off is your best revenge. Do things you never thought you could before, like running a race. Leave the one making the comment in the dust.

I worked with people where I had 2 camps. One that totally supported me and one that was just aweful to me. I kept losing weight, got the comments that I would just gain it back, etc. I know my weight was used against me to not give me raises. Then when I lost weight, that was used against me. Well living well is the best revenge, I won an award for my company, completed a half marathon at 54 years of age. I found a new job making 3x the money and my old employer still doesn't know what hit them and hasn't found a replacement for me. So sometimes it isn't about what you say back but how you live your life, live it well and skinny. Enjoy your successes and keep adding to them. Congrats again on the jealousy, it means your doing alot right.
Nancy

[robrob]

I use a slightly different method. I don't talk about my weight loss or Jenny at work. If someone directly asks me how did I lose weight, I tell them, less food-more exercise. But if I feel someone is sincere, I will tell them I used Jenny, and answer any questions they have about it. One person I misjudged, thought she was sincere, and she took it upon herself to tell a few people, who came directly to me about it. So I went to her and told her it was no secret, and she should feel free to type up a notice and post it on the time clock for everyone to see, to save her from having to repeat it so much. I also told her the reason I shared with her, was because I knew she needed to lose and was only trying to help her. she asked me, I didn't go to her. She doesn't come around me much now, especially since I have been at goal for a year, and my wardrobe in amazing!