10 replies to this topic

[ali19xo]

There I was, feeling good about myself. Had just spent the entire day trying to find the perfect outfit to go out that night. Spent an hour doing my hair and make-up. And I thought I was satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. I'm well aware at 226lbs that I'm not a skinny minnie, but I feel like I dress to my body. That night I was going out with 2 of my skinny girlfriends. A "much needed" night on the town after a stressful work week. We hadn't even gotten 10 feet away from our parked car when "it" happened. A car full of men drove by, cat-calling the two girls in front of me, asking where they'd be that night.. and then they saw me and in disgust said "ohh no not the fat girl." Devestation is putting it mildly. 5 words destroyed my confidence. In a couple months I plan on thanking that idiot because I won't be "the fat girl" anymore.

So tired of the diets that don't work. Of the awful question that noone has a right to ask but lets slip out anyways. "I thought you were on a diet?" Its like, thanks a lot. I realize I'm still fat without you pointing it out. Not anymore, and never again. Does anyone else have any similar "get off your butt and do something about it" stories?

[Blessed4Life2]

There I was, feeling good about myself. Had just spent the entire day trying to find the perfect outfit to go out that night. Spent an hour doing my hair and make-up. And I thought I was satisfied with what I saw in the mirror. I'm well aware at 226lbs that I'm not a skinny minnie, but I feel like I dress to my body. That night I was going out with 2 of my skinny girlfriends. A "much needed" night on the town after a stressful work week. We hadn't even gotten 10 feet away from our parked car when "it" happened. A car full of men drove by, cat-calling the two girls in front of me, asking where they'd be that night.. and then they saw me and in disgust said "ohh no not the fat girl." Devestation is putting it mildly. 5 words destroyed my confidence. In a couple months I plan on thanking that idiot because I won't be "the fat girl" anymore.

So tired of the diets that don't work. Of the awful question that noone has a right to ask but lets slip out anyways. "I thought you were on a diet?" Its like, thanks a lot. I realize I'm still fat without you pointing it out. Not anymore, and never again. Does anyone else have any similar "get off your butt and do something about it" stories?

WOW Ali, harsh words for sure. I am so sorry you had to experience that kind of abuse. I dont think ppl realize the things they say has a lasting effect.......not to mention they were complete and utter buttfaces!!!

But you have the right mindset, you are doing something about it and you are moving on.....yay for you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ali19xo]

WOW Ali, harsh words for sure. I am so sorry you had to experience that kind of abuse. I dont think ppl realize the things they say has a lasting effect.......not to mention they were complete and utter buttfaces!!!

But you have the right mindset, you are doing something about it and you are moving on.....yay for you girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much! I really hate "Bully-ing" and I'm such an advocate against it so to experience it.. at age 26. Its like, come on. Its time to grow up.

[Blessed4Life2]

Thank you so much! I really hate "Bully-ing" and I'm such an advocate against it so to experience it.. at age 26. Its like, come on. Its time to grow up.

Amen to that!!!! people that speak such ignorance I take with a grain of salt.....worthless uttering!

[Bluewink]

Similar wake-up call without the bullying. At university, I wanted to point out to someone who was my friend that I had been talking about and the easiest way to point him out was "the large guy". I realised that even with all the best intentions in the world, my friends would probably still refer to me as the "large girl", without any insult intended, just because that was my most identifiable physical trait. I decided to change that not quite out of shame but because I felt I diserved to have something that is really *mine* as a most identifiable physical trait.

[brandycandy]

Something similar happened to me. But I guess it's a blessing because now I'm eating JC Cheesecake every week AND I'm loosing weight too, so MUAHAAAA!

[annabanana49]

Ouch! I'm so sorry sweetie. People can be so cruel! I do hope your girlfriends stepped in and came to your defense or at least comforted you afterwards. I know this is easier said then done but try to ignore those loser guys. For some reason society has put a stigma out there that women all need to be a size 4. When in reality the average size of women is 12-14. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 but do they recognize that, no they don't.

Coming from someone who knows the embarassment of being called fat, or even pregnant, it's hard to truck on but don't let one group of guys place doubt in your head. You take care of you. So when you've reached your goal weight you can go back and watch those guys drool over you and not pay them any attention. I always like to think that those arrogant guys who need to vocalize a demeaning and rude remark are trying to make up for what they lack in the neither regions.. Yup, rude men have small winkies! Ha-ha...

Best of luck to you and you can always count on your Rue crew for support.

~AB

[whitelotus01]

That is incredibly insensitive. But i suppose it's stupid idiots like them that can change the life of one person forever. I'm glad you decided to "not be the fat girl" any more instead of wallowing in food because of the remark.

Such LOSERS in my book for sure though. I saw your tracker and noticed we both have the same amount of weight to lose. However I weigh more than 226, I started out at 250.

Good luck on your journey and don't get discouraged!

[Trontastic]

I totally understand your pain. It really hurts when people do that kind of stuff. It's so absurd that they think they can say whatever they want to complete strangers. And it makes you really think what is it about me that makes me look like someone that people can be so mean to..Just because I have a few extra pounds? That makes me someone that you can show a complete lack of decency towards. I say this because a few months ago I was out with my friends at a club. I was dressed up nice. At the time, I was a size 8, so not even at my heaviest weight and what I think is an average weight. We were waiting for the valet to bring the car, and these guys started yelling at me "Hey Thunder Thighs." My friend and I just ignored them because I just thought they were being immature. As they were leaving in their car, they rolled down the window and told me to "get on a treadmill." I had done nothing to provoke them at all, and it totally crushed me. I know. I know. They were just dumb idiots. Whatever. It doesn't make it seem like less cruel for them to do that. And it also made me wonder, "well are they just saying what everyone else is thinking?" Since then I have lost and gained back some weight. Now, that I'm back at the size I was then, I am so embarrassed and don't want to be social because I don't want to even be subjected to more of the same.

What do people think you should do in a situation like that? Do you think you should be the bigger person and just let it slide. Or do you think you should fire back. I know it seems childish but I don't know I'm tired of people acting like this with no fear of the "fat girl" saying something back.

[Baby B Grandma]

Disgusting! People who lower themselves to such a level are more than immature. They are insensitive thugs. I'm referring to the guys (and gals) who make it a point to yell cruel taunts. The fact that they feel comfortable and within their rights to hurt others makes me think they can be cruel in other ways, as well.

Chin up, ladies. Take the high road and don't stoop to their level by firing back. Guys using those kinds of taunts are hoping to get a response back. They want to see you get flustered and show embarrassment.

Instead use this as your motivator to keep you focused on your goal. A self-imposed goal is so much more effective and worthwhile than something that is forced on us. In my case, my motivator was being lifted on a backboard after a car crash. The wonderful EMTs were fantastic, but the only thing going through my head was, "oh no, their going to notice how heavy I am."

The "fat girl" image will stick in your mind, but focus instead on getting healthy and getting strong muscles that will allow you to be actively physically fit. My original goal to not being embarrassed anymore quickly changed to being a fitness fanatic once I saw how much more energy I had, how I could move easier, get up and off the floor quicker, walk farther and faster, handle the heat better, etc. Let better health be your long-term goal and troop on! You're worth it.

[LittleLadyBug]

Oh no! That's downright rude. But in all honesty, when stuff like that gets me down, I have to take a step back and ask why someone would even say something so hurtful. Most of the time, they're projecting some sort of insecurity onto someone else.
The, of course, there are always those people who have no sense of right and wrong.
Either way, it's an awful thing to say and do-- but don't let a person like that get you down-- they're totally not worth it! Words are hurtful, but your willpower is stronger. The fact that you came here to talk to your friends at JC for support shows the important steps you've taken to improve your habits! GO YOU!!!!!!! You should be proud of what you've done so far. Those guys won't matter, especially when you look in the mirror and say to yourself, "I did this! No one else!"


Keep going, girl!