10 replies to this topic

[debracandoit]

Hello everyone,

I just joined yesterday (Wednesday) but won't actually start the program until Saturday because I have to go to a graduation and party most of the day tomorrow. I am a single parent of a 2 year old girl and I am looking for other parents, single or not, to help guide me or just comiserate with me on what looks like its going to be a very long journey.

I am heavier now than I was when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter. I only gained 24 pounds with that pregnancy (per doctor's orders because I was already 20 pds overweight) and then lost all but six pounds of it within a few weeks of her birth. I put on 10 pounds during my daughter's first year and then, when she turned 1, I just went crazy. That was the deadline I gave myself to get serious about dieting. I was going to lose 35 pounds and be thin by summer. Ha! Instead it was failed diet after failed diet. Each time I fell off I would have last supper after last supper until I started dieting again on Monday with a renewed determination to diet without faltering until I reached goal. Needless to say, I not only didn't lose any of the 35 pds from before, but I put on over 35 pds trying. I don't know how much I weigh, I asked them not to tell me, but I do know I am over 220 pds because that's how much I weighed the last time I looked. It's very distressing to me. I'm sure everyone here can relate! I blame everyone and everything including me for my failure -- I have no discipline, no willpower, my daughter doesn't cooperate, my schedule is too busy, my friend's party, the office luncheon. There is always a reason NOT to diet. I need to start thinking about all the reasons to stay ON the diet. These reasons need to be more important to me than all the other distractions. I hope I can get some of that from these message boards. Can anyone understand where I am coming from?

Life as a parent is crazy. Before I became a parent, my weight fluctuated but I was discaplined and could always get back on track. Now I find that I am easilly distracted by disruptions in my schedule, by temper tantrums and such. I need to find ways to handle the stress without eating. I need to find ways to schedule my own needs into our busy schedule. Can it be done?

I am so big now I can hardly stand to be in my own skin. I really hope this diet works. I don't think I can handle another dissappointment and I know I can't stand to be this weight for much longer!

Thanks for listening (reading). Help and encouragement is welcome!

[readytochange2008]

I'm not a single parent but I can relate to your post. My weight has often reflected how I'm feeling and emotional eating is something I struggled with since being a teen. I had it more or less under control in my 20's but then edged up a few lbs each year through my mid thirties. I was a little *chubby* for me when I got pregnant with my son, who is now almost 5. I gained a moderate amount of weight during pregnancy but put on more weight after he was born. I tried a few diets - primarily south beach and best life diet - and they worked for the week or so I did it. I finally joined Jenny Craig this past January. Now, four months later, I'm finally at my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel so much better, much more like my old self. You can do this. The message boards have been very helpful. If you need immediate support, also try the chat room. You can also PM if you need to vent.

[debracandoit]

I'm not a single parent but I can relate to your post. My weight has often reflected how I'm feeling and emotional eating is something I struggled with since being a teen. I had it more or less under control in my 20's but then edged up a few lbs each year through my mid thirties. I was a little *chubby* for me when I got pregnant with my son, who is now almost 5. I gained a moderate amount of weight during pregnancy but put on more weight after he was born. I tried a few diets - primarily south beach and best life diet - and they worked for the week or so I did it. I finally joined Jenny Craig this past January. Now, four months later, I'm finally at my pre-pregnancy weight. I feel so much better, much more like my old self. You can do this. The message boards have been very helpful. If you need immediate support, also try the chat room. You can also PM if you need to vent.

Thanks for writing back! It's so nice to correspond with someone who understands both the emotional eating and the stress of parenthood -- a bad combination. It also gives me hope to know that you are doing the diet and losing weight. There is hope. Thank you also for the tips about the chat room and PM. What is PM?

I am starting the diet tomorrow. There is a part of me that wants to wait until Sunday just to get one last day of last suppers in. There is another part of me that wants to start now just to stop the insanity (wasn't that a book?) and get back on track. I'm going to start tomorrow. I have a feeling its going to be a while before the urge for last suppers goes away. But no time like the present.

How do you eat with your family? What do you tell your 5 year old about what you are eating and/or why you are eating something different?

Thanks again for sharing with me!

[readytochange2008]

Thanks for writing back! It's so nice to correspond with someone who understands both the emotional eating and the stress of parenthood -- a bad combination. It also gives me hope to know that you are doing the diet and losing weight. There is hope. Thank you also for the tips about the chat room and PM. What is PM?

I am starting the diet tomorrow. There is a part of me that wants to wait until Sunday just to get one last day of last suppers in. There is another part of me that wants to start now just to stop the insanity (wasn't that a book?) and get back on track. I'm going to start tomorrow. I have a feeling its going to be a while before the urge for last suppers goes away. But no time like the present.

How do you eat with your family? What do you tell your 5 year old about what you are eating and/or why you are eating something different?

Thanks again for sharing with me!

Hi Debra, You don't need a last hurrah because you are allowed to eat your own meals here and there, just smaller portions of them. I would recommend you make an all veggie soup (one recipe on your menu). The soup helps a lot in the beginning. There are some nights that I feel like I'm making three meals, especially when my dh comes home late and wants something different. Most times, I make salads and veggies that we can all eat. Steamed broccoli, carrots, green beans in tomato sauce, salad. I always have salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumber) in a gigantic tupperware (I spin it dry and it lasts for a few days) and I have it every meal. Similarly, I make vats of rice and/or pasta and keep that in reserve as sides for my family. My husband and son are simple eaters so the protein is usually hamburger, rotisserie chicken, tuna or fish sticks, or a few pieces of prepared roast from a local store. I know some people try to make similar things to what they themselves are eating. I will sometimes choose my food entre depending on what's going on. I had jenny craig pizza last night as my reward to myself for not eating pizza at a birthday party for my son's friend. My son does know that I'm on Jenny Craig. I told him that he needs to get bigger and I need to get smaller. He will ask me if something is on my list before offering me a taste. I must have used that phrase in the beginning, "no thanks, it's not on my list." Now, I say I can have it or anything in moderation. He sees me eating healthfully. He has tasted some of the JC food and he sees me having MOMO's (meals on my own) once in a while. As for the emotional eating, I still struggle with it sometimes. When I'm angry or depleted - especially on days when my son has been testing or whinning and I haven't had a break - I crave something sweet to soothe. Mostly, now, I have the impulse and don't give in to it. Or, I eat huge bowls of sugar free jello. (though, by now, I'm pretty jello'd out). Good luck this week with starting. You can do it. PM is private message. Click on a person's name and it gives you the option of sending them a note.

[debracandoit]

Hi Debra, You don't need a last hurrah because you are allowed to eat your own meals here and there, just smaller portions of them. I would recommend you make an all veggie soup (one recipe on your menu). The soup helps a lot in the beginning. There are some nights that I feel like I'm making three meals, especially when my dh comes home late and wants something different. Most times, I make salads and veggies that we can all eat. Steamed broccoli, carrots, green beans in tomato sauce, salad. I always have salad (lettuce, tomato, cucumber) in a gigantic tupperware (I spin it dry and it lasts for a few days) and I have it every meal. Similarly, I make vats of rice and/or pasta and keep that in reserve as sides for my family. My husband and son are simple eaters so the protein is usually hamburger, rotisserie chicken, tuna or fish sticks, or a few pieces of prepared roast from a local store. I know some people try to make similar things to what they themselves are eating. I will sometimes choose my food entre depending on what's going on. I had jenny craig pizza last night as my reward to myself for not eating pizza at a birthday party for my son's friend. My son does know that I'm on Jenny Craig. I told him that he needs to get bigger and I need to get smaller. He will ask me if something is on my list before offering me a taste. I must have used that phrase in the beginning, "no thanks, it's not on my list." Now, I say I can have it or anything in moderation. He sees me eating healthfully. He has tasted some of the JC food and he sees me having MOMO's (meals on my own) once in a while. As for the emotional eating, I still struggle with it sometimes. When I'm angry or depleted - especially on days when my son has been testing or whinning and I haven't had a break - I crave something sweet to soothe. Mostly, now, I have the impulse and don't give in to it. Or, I eat huge bowls of sugar free jello. (though, by now, I'm pretty jello'd out). Good luck this week with starting. You can do it. PM is private message. Click on a person's name and it gives you the option of sending them a note.

I started today as I planned to. No time like the present. I'm just eating lunch as I type but so far the food is pretty good and I'm not hungry. I'm going to make some of that veggie soup that you recommended, though, just in case. My daughter is with her dad this morning so I have not had a problem eating two meals without her. But she likes to eat off my plate even when we are eating the same thing. When I am eating diet food I find that I eat really fast or hide my food to keep her from doing it. I know that can't be good for either one of us. I want to try sitting with her at the table to eat together. I think it will be a struggle but worth it if I can convince her that she eats her food and I eat mine. We can both eat the vegetables (she actually likes them!) and salads. And I know she will eat the vegetable soup. Thank you for the good tips.

It's only day one, but I feel good. I feel confident. Of course, I always feel this way on day one! But I like being able to talk (type) and share with other people going through the same things. It makes me feel less weird, less weak. I feel normal. But people are getting the past the hurdles and I can too. You are losing weight steadilly I see and I can do that too. So how long does the good feeling last before you hit a bump in the road?

[readytochange2008]

Good for you for starting. The food is pretty good. Make a note to yourself which items you like and which are not your favorites so that you will remember when you plan your personalized menu. Sometimes I find it easier to eat without my child. If I have to set limits through the meal, I don't enjoy what I'm eating and then I want something else. Similarly, eating fast makes it hard to enjoy or register what you're eating. Have you tried putting food for her on your plate and giving her tastes of that? In the beginning, I was strict on the program and started losing right away. That started a positive feedback loop of keeping on track, lose, stay motivated. It's gotten a little harder lately for me to stick to the program completely and my loss has slowed down a bit. I've been shooting for 1-2 lbs per week on average - though TOM usually means no loss that week.

[Penn Stater93]

Debra,

I am not a single parent but I have a two year old and can very much relate to you. A few years ago I moved from a city and job that I loved to a city that wasn't a place I was too thrilled about. I quickly found the stress of this move helped me gain 25-30 pounds. I went from 150 to 180....then within a few months of moving, I got pregnant. At the end of my pregnancy I was 224.

A few months after giving birth, I was stuck at 190 and tried to lose weight but wasn't doing too much because I was breastfeeding and kept that up for a full year. I had finally gotten to 178 (back to my pre-pregnancy weight that was already 30 pounds too high for me) and as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, pow! I went back to 195.

Last Mother's Day (2007) I started low-carbing and took off 15 pounds. I thought I was looking pretty good and getting some confidence back. Then at Thanksgiving, I visited some family and friends that hadn't seen me in 3 years (most remember me at 150) and not a single person said "wow! You look great!" Maybe that's petty, but when you think about it, it's sort of a "normal" thing to say to someone you haven't seen in a long time.

Depressed, the following week I marched my a%$ into Jenny Craig (first week of December 2007). I weighed 187.5.

By Valentine's Day I was in the 160s. And 3 weeks ago, I made goal: 150 (even as low as 149

The road was so hard until I joined Jenny.

And having a toddler still made it hard. Every time I'd make him his food, he'd see me eat my Jenny meal and want some. He'd reach over and yell "a bite!" I felt like half of my already insanely small portion was going to my toddler!

Here's what I do now... I make him his meal and I make vegetables for both of us. I chow on the veggies and wait until he's totally full before I make my Jenny meal!!! I sometimes even take him down to the rec room to watch tv and then sit on the steps outside the baby gate so I can watch him and eat my dinner in peace!
I try to eat my lunch after I lay my son down for his nap. And I buy an extra blueberry muffin to give him now and then when I am having a muffin for breakfast. Or I get up a little early to eat breakfast before my son wakes up.

Hang in there. You'll find a way to make this work for you. The journey looks so hard starting on week one. Make use of your counselors and even the 1-800-jennycares
And keep writing on here for support. We all want to succeed and to help each other out. Good luck and stay in touch.

[debracandoit]

Good for you for starting. The food is pretty good. Make a note to yourself which items you like and which are not your favorites so that you will remember when you plan your personalized menu. Sometimes I find it easier to eat without my child. If I have to set limits through the meal, I don't enjoy what I'm eating and then I want something else. Similarly, eating fast makes it hard to enjoy or register what you're eating. Have you tried putting food for her on your plate and giving her tastes of that? In the beginning, I was strict on the program and started losing right away. That started a positive feedback loop of keeping on track, lose, stay motivated. It's gotten a little harder lately for me to stick to the program completely and my loss has slowed down a bit. I've been shooting for 1-2 lbs per week on average - though TOM usually means no loss that week.

Hello again!

The week wasn't so bad, though I am having a hard time today. I want a glass of wine really, really BAD. But I know if I open a bottle, I will have two, maybe even three glasses!! The work week is usually a little easier for me as I can have most of my meals at work without anyone bothering me. And the food is good so I feel satisfied. But today is Friday and I'm tired after a long week.

I have to work on setting limits with the baby. I was giving her veggies yesterday as we ate dinner and she kept saying "no like it". It was cute. It also made me think I might try feeding her brussel sprouts every time she wants a bite of my food until she starts to associate my food with something yukky.

I think you have the right idea about being strict on the diet to get motivation and confidence. I was doing really well there at first, but have had a few small slips related to food sitting around (on the baby's plate or while packing my meals). I don't think its too bad but I can see it will get bad fast if I don't stop with the bites and tastes. It worries me too. If I can't be strict on week one, can I ever lose weigh?

[debracandoit]

Debra,

I am not a single parent but I have a two year old and can very much relate to you. A few years ago I moved from a city and job that I loved to a city that wasn't a place I was too thrilled about. I quickly found the stress of this move helped me gain 25-30 pounds. I went from 150 to 180....then within a few months of moving, I got pregnant. At the end of my pregnancy I was 224.

A few months after giving birth, I was stuck at 190 and tried to lose weight but wasn't doing too much because I was breastfeeding and kept that up for a full year. I had finally gotten to 178 (back to my pre-pregnancy weight that was already 30 pounds too high for me) and as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, pow! I went back to 195.

Last Mother's Day (2007) I started low-carbing and took off 15 pounds. I thought I was looking pretty good and getting some confidence back. Then at Thanksgiving, I visited some family and friends that hadn't seen me in 3 years (most remember me at 150) and not a single person said "wow! You look great!" Maybe that's petty, but when you think about it, it's sort of a "normal" thing to say to someone you haven't seen in a long time.

Depressed, the following week I marched my a%$ into Jenny Craig (first week of December 2007). I weighed 187.5.

By Valentine's Day I was in the 160s. And 3 weeks ago, I made goal: 150 (even as low as 149

The road was so hard until I joined Jenny.

And having a toddler still made it hard. Every time I'd make him his food, he'd see me eat my Jenny meal and want some. He'd reach over and yell "a bite!" I felt like half of my already insanely small portion was going to my toddler!

Here's what I do now... I make him his meal and I make vegetables for both of us. I chow on the veggies and wait until he's totally full before I make my Jenny meal!!! I sometimes even take him down to the rec room to watch tv and then sit on the steps outside the baby gate so I can watch him and eat my dinner in peace!
I try to eat my lunch after I lay my son down for his nap. And I buy an extra blueberry muffin to give him now and then when I am having a muffin for breakfast. Or I get up a little early to eat breakfast before my son wakes up.

Hang in there. You'll find a way to make this work for you. The journey looks so hard starting on week one. Make use of your counselors and even the 1-800-jennycares
And keep writing on here for support. We all want to succeed and to help each other out. Good luck and stay in touch.

In many ways, you are telling my story. It's been hard to eat around my daughter because she wants to eat everything I'm eating. I do a lot of eating before and after my daughter goes to sleep. But sometimes that means I'm STARVING by the time I eat. But I like your suggestions. And I'm willing to try anything!!

You sound like you've done realy well on the diet! I hope I can do as well. I'm sceptical as I type this but mostly because I am really wanting a glass of wine -- an old friday night ritual that is hard to give up. But if I can't stay on the diet the first week what can I expect from the next year!!??? I keep reading these posts and hoping to get inspiration from everyone who has struggled but not given up and somehow managed to lose weight despite the setbacks.

CONGRATULATIONS on making your goal weight!!! I hope I do as well. Thank you also for sharing these tips with me!

[KiminAustin]

Hi Debra -

I too can relate. I am a newly single mom of a 2 yr old and it can be quite a challenge. When I was pregnant and just getting ready to have my little pumpkin I weighed 235lbs - my heaviest ever! I lost about 35 lbs the first 1 1/2 yrs post baby but then joined JC about 6 weeks ago after going through the divorce process. I'm now at 190 and still wanting to lose another 25-35 lbs. It's tough with a toddler if you work (and most single moms do) because you are always on the go and you don't get a break or someone to help you watch them so you can have some downtime. You're basically either catering to your kids or at work for a good 12-15 hrs a day and you maybe get some alone time finally at about 9:30pm - that is if you ignore the mounting dishes or laundry !

I think what keeps me going is I felt so out of control when I was at my heaviest. I was definitely over indulging and clearly confusing food with comfort when in reality it was having the opposite effect. It's that horrible cycle many can identify with if you're an emotional eater...and I am! But I have to say since I've been doing JC that I feel so much more in control. I have more pride in myself even though I still feel like I have a lot more weight to lose. The other thing is I don't want my daughter to grow up wondering why Mommy was never in pictures with her because I'm too ashamed of my body. And of course I don't want her to have a bad self image because she's as cute as pie! So there's a lot of motivating factors and it's definitely harder in some regards being a single mom if you're an emotional eater because your stressors are high and you're essentially taking away one of your biggest comforts. But then again that's what is great about JC - that you're not completely depriving yourself like you would on say a no carb diet. You can still have sweets and snacks and chips, etc just in the right portions and less often. Anyhow, best of luck to you. It's a journey but it's worth it!

[debracandoit]

WOW!! I can't believe I started this topic TWO YEARS AGO when I first started JC. It's amazing to read about what I was thinking and feeling back then. It's also amazing to see how much has changed!! I lost 70 pounds since then!!!! And, despite the fact that I've been off the program for almost 6 months, I've kept off all but 10 pounds of it (though the point was that I was supposed to be losing the rest on my own!!) I feel so much better about myself than I did back then even though I still have 40 pounds to go. I remember that out of control feeling that I had when I started JC and I don't want to go back there. I know if I don't get back on track with my diet, that's where I will end up. I started off doing fairly well on my own, losing a few pounds here and there, but just a few slip ups would cancel everything. The more that has happened, the less motivated I felt to continue. And, when pounds started to creep back on, I felt like giving up. I'm glad I came back here to remind myself where I came from and where I will end up again if I don't refocus and get back on track.

JC is expensive, but I'm worth it.

The obstacles I face every day make dieting hard, but I have two choices. I can either fight to succeed or I can give up and be fat. I chose to fight for my health (and, who am I trying to kid, fight to look good!!) A good friend of mine once told me that "if you don't fight for it, you lose anyway" (no pun intended! he meant, I might not succeed, but if I don't try I will never know!!)

Just because not everyone has the same problems or obstacles that I have doesn't mean they don't have their own problems and obstacles that they have to deal with every day.

I know I'm probably just talking to myself right now since this topic is so old, but that helps too.