I've been loving the supportive, uplifting community here for the past week or two since joining, and it feels like for every ounce of positivity I put out there, I get a pound back. Thank you! (And thank goodness a pound of positivity is NOT the same weight as a pound of fat, lol!)
I have to confess: I am struggling to have a positive attitude today. Unfortunately, yesterday and today my back and hip have been hurting more than usual, making it difficult to stand up or sit back down. Also, I've been encountering a few negative attitudes in my offline life that are just wearing me down. I haven't had all my mental resources available because they're getting used up keeping me distracted from my pain so I'm functional.
Also, is it just me or is it PMSy in here, like to to the Nth degree? Oh, wait, that's just me! ARGH.
I'm working hard to focus on my victories. I think, by this time next week, I'll be squarely out of the 170's and into the 160's for the first time in a couple years! Also, I have a new body con dress I'll be wearing on Monday for my weigh-in (my consultant is great and always tells me my outfit looks nice and it really boosts my self-esteem, it's the little things, lol!). I have a matching scarf to wear with it, too. I get clothing via a service called Le Tote, that lets me try a handful of new outfits every month (one of those "keep what you love, send back what you don't" services), and this'll be another one of them. I'm not good at picking out clothes for myself, so this has been a really good service for me to try new things, and I really look forward to the 2 or 3 boxes I get per month.
Today, I am wearing my favorite shade of blue, and an aromatherapy necklace (there's a leather pad inside the locket that you can put a couple drops of essential oil onto and it wafts pleasantly). I've started my first week of The Artist's Way, a self-help book about creative discovery and nurturing your creative self. I GET LAVA CAKE FOR DESSERT TONIGHT!
Keeping the good thoughts going, inch by inch as I make it through the day to get to the weekend!
OK So I thought I would take the inspiration from the blog post of @Staci Greene. You guys must go read her post. Her success on Jenny is truly inspiring and her pants are falling of... You Go Girl! And she planned an awesome day yesterday. So thought I would plan my day in a similar vein.
OK so here's the great news. My pants fit. Yup - I am rocking the size 4 Lululemon workout pants! So happy they fit. working from home today - so no great outfit, but will change into golf shorts as I think this afternoon's after work plan will be to go practice golf. With a light workload, I have been walking a ton after work At some point I should probably rest? so I'll go golf a bit.. that's restful So my sized 6 SwingbySwing golf shorts will fit as well. YAY! My Pants Fit!
OK, today went to OrangeTheory had a great workout. Endurance day - so longer push blocks on the tread followed by Active recovery - Base pace jog) then pushes and a couple of all outs. Total of 30 minutes on Treadmill and then 30 minutes on Water rower and weight bench. Single leg static lunges, rows, lunges, and some work for backs and chests and biceps. All good. 60 min total about 500+ calories. And a bunch of splat points (for your OrangeTehry enthusiasts).
Then Kodiak Pancake breakfast 1.25 servings (6 small pancakes I adore)
Next change AC filter
Get template made for Bathroom cabinet (Install in process and amazing!!)
Then look for new work project and study for work...
Lunch - Flatout, tuna, parmesan, veggies and salad
Work, Golf, Home Depot maybe to buy dinners... or lighting company to buy trim for recessed lights
Netflix - 90210 Season 3.. I am addicted.
Be the happy person you want to be. Watched this today - Awesome.
OK time to go be Happy.
You Got This guys!!! Being thin - not overeating, stocking to the plan is so worth it. My Pants Fit. Staci's Pants are falling off! Your pants will be falling off too. This is our day, our year, our decade. Let's not go start a diet again and spend a moment unhappy because of our weight.
Does anyone read these things? Leave a comment - let me know what your happy is? How your plan is going? Or more importantly, how I can help you I know y'all help me every day! Thank you,
Everyone. Is. Complaining. OMG. Today, I've had the two primary people in my life both texting me ALL MORNING upset and sad and angry about things. I'm trying hard to focus on an overdue work project, so juggling this is tough. ARRGH! So, I need to shake it off and I'm gonna do a little positivity!
1) MY PANTS DON'T FIT! This is the second day in a row they've been sliding right off of me, lol! So, I will be doing laundry tonight and cleaning up my two pretty sweater dresses that I have, so I can rock them on Thursday and Friday and show off my skinny self! The world is my runway!
2) Once I get this project done, I might get to go home early today! I've been really diligent about clearing out my paperwork the past couple days and taking care of "those nagging tasks." If I get this done before 1pm, and my client meeting at 1pm goes well, I might be on the road going home by 2pm! I plan to do a 30 minute bellydancing workout video, 30 minutes of cleaning and tidying up, and then I'm going to work on writing my novel for a couple hours, interruption-free! That way, when my dogs (and, oh yeah, "that guy I'm married to") get home at 5pm, I can spend time with them and watch a little TV, work on my Artist's Way chapter, and finish the book I'm currently reading. Oh, such a luxurious afternoon! I really hope I get to have it.
3) I had the cranberry chicken salad for lunch today, with a whole egg added for my fat serving. I'm REALLY finding that adding a sliced up egg to things is making them super tasty and filling for me! I usually have some olives or a handful of nuts for my other fat serving, but this egg once a day, thrown onto a sandwich or mixed into the salads, is just, yum, perfect!
4) Things are peaceful at the office today, the people I share the space with are all out and about, running errands, so I have the place to myself and I can sing along with my Google Home and stuff without bugging anybody!
OK, back to the grind!
So I gotta say, I love my JC Consultant, he's so positive and awesome and just makes me feel very "can-do." I always leave feeling in a good mood and like I can take on my upcoming week!
I was down 3 lbs at my weigh-in! So that makes about 5 pounds total lost on Jenny Craig in 3 weeks, even with a week of gaining a pound while on vacation! I'm feeling good about this.
This week, I'm trying a few things that have a little more cheese in them (like the margherita pizza) because they look good, and I'll eat them for dinner, so only my dogs really have to deal with the consequences, lol!
I managed to make it through my workout yesterday, even with my pain, and my trainer pushed me a bit too, which I think I needed. I wanted to be all self-defeating, but she wouldn't let me. I'm incredibly lucky to have good team members on my health journey with my consultant and my trainer both helping me so much!!
Today, I'm lucky because I get some time at home before I have to go in for client meetings this afternoon. I needed some introvert time, and I got some last night and today. Feeling positive so far, and I slept well, and my pain levels are back down today, so it's a good one so far!
OK, I just finished my lunch -
Classic Cheeseburger - Pretty good!
Green beans with olive oil and garlic - oh dear, I'm so over these things now, lol!
With my current plan (Rapid Results), I'm supposed to have EITHER the Cheesy Broccoli OR the Green Beans + Olive Oil twice a week (JC foods) with lunch. However, I can't have the cheesy broccoli because of my lactose intolerance, so I've only been getting the green beans. I've now had them six times (2x a week for 3 weeks) and I'm officially OVER THEM! I want to make my own instead. Arrgggh! I'm going to talk about it with my consultant today and see if there's something else I can do on my own instead, just, something about the texture has been rubbing me the wrong way this week, it's like they are squeaky on my teeth and just weird! ... OK, I'm done ranting now, I've just been priding myself on not being a picky eater, but it's also hard not to be high-maintenance with the lactose stuff.
I did not sleep so well last night due to my pain issues, and it's making it difficult to focus and be motivated today. I'm full of the "I DON'T WANNA"'s! So, tonight, I am going to self-care. I'll get home, have my White Bean Chili with some added veggies and such, and my Lemon Cake. Then, I'm going to snuggle onto the couch in my personal study, wrap a blanket around myself, and hopefully spoon with my little dog Scout (if she's not too rambunctious tonight). We are going to watch a movie - I haven't decided on which one yet, I'm debating between Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. I just need some personal "me" time, I'm a bit of an introvert and I've been around people a LOT for the past two weeks, so my batteries need a little recharging. Plus, we are getting ready to move and just listed the house, so my body has been taxed with the cleaning and lifting and such, so I'm sure that's not helping. Definitely time for rest and replenishing my mental and physical resources!
Then, I will be ready to tackle the rest of my week! What do you do to recharge your batteries?
OK, I have a confession.
I had restaurant food tonight. I shouldn't have, because I also had crab earlier this week and that was already a splurge.
But, I also am not feeling so guilty about it... because after I had my restaurant dinner, I went home and had my Jenny Craig dessert, and I already feel fine about having my JC food tomorrow... like, this was a blip on the path. And, when I inputted it into MFP, I found I'm only about 350 calories over for the day from where I should be (and only about 750 calories over for the week, out of what should be a 10,500 calorie week... I'm on the 1500 calorie plan). Plus, the scale has been kind to me this week (so far down 4 lbs, we'll see what the official verdict is tomorrow at weigh-in), and my workouts have been stellar, if I do say so myself.
I want to keep on-track, but I also know that foregoing family dinners at a restaurant every single time would become a deprivation problem. So... I'm staying on-track at about a 91% compliance rate, and not feeling defeated that I'm not perfect (which, I am often a perfectionist, so this is a big deal for me). I need this diet to work for my life. That said, I am going to be firmer about not dining out this coming week (my week 4 starts tomorrow) since I had those couple of blips this week, just so I don't start letting myself "get away" with too much and start being self-defeating.
So, my Oopsies for today: things have been pretty busy at the office, and when that happens, I lose track of time and don't eat when I'm supposed to. It's of particular concern right now because I have 3 real estate deals all happening at once (such transactions are kind of challenging in Illinois), so everything is time sensitive. So, if something is needed "now, now, now" there really isn't much time to eat until "later, later, later."
And that's how I ended up eating half of my lunch, and my afternoon snack, at about 3pm. I fortunately managed to sneak in my entree at 12pm, so I wasn't too bad, but I was definitely feeling pretty hungry by then!
My Daisies for today: I managed to make it allllllll the way downtown to Chicago City Hall today (it's over an hour in traffic) and got fingerprinted! ... No, I didn't commit a crime. It's a requirement for anyone wanting to volunteer with Chicago Animal Care & Control. One of my big goals in life is to have a facility where I can foster several animals at a time (which I'm actually close to attaining... but I'll go into that some other time). Chicago, being a bigger city, has a lot of animals in need, so I decided to focus my efforts with them. While this may not seem like much, the benefit of this is, I will be getting a lot of experience with different animals, who will present me with a variety of challenges.
BUT, first I have to deal with "Crook County" (it's actually Cook County, but people who live around Chicago know how they really are) and their laborious intake process. The sad thing is, the process is very prohibitive, keeping more people from volunteering and depriving the shelter of helping hands. (While it does keep out dishonest folks who might not have the dogs' best interests at heart, it can also keep away a lot of well-meaning people, too).
1) You have to attend a volunteer orientation - they have them a couple times a month, so that's not a big deal.
2) You have to undergo a criminal background check - makes sense, you don't want anyone with animal cruelty history to be let in.
3) You have to get fingerprinted - and the only place to get fingerprinted is at Chicago City Hall, between the hours of 9am and 3pm, Monday through Friday. (...uh, really?)
4) After getting fingerprinted, there is a 4 to 6 WEEK processing time lag to get approved while they await the results of the fingerprinting!
5) Then, and only then, can you get trained. (training is not arduous, you come in and walk dogs with an experienced volunteer for a couple of sessions, after that, you can come in whenever you want)
So, for me, the hard part, finding time to get over and get fingerprinted, is done, and it's just a matter of time now. I just want to get in there and start walking the dogs and helping them! I will only be able to make it for a couple sessions a month, but it's something I desperately want to do, seeing all those dogs in need of time outside of their cages, some fresh air and a chance to stretch their legs. I can't wait until I can do more to help them, but for now, I'm focusing on the smaller victories that are building me up to where I want to be.
OK, not a lot of "weight loss" and stuff in this post, but, it's what I'm focused on right now and what's motivating me to stay in shape, I'll need those strong legs for exercising puppy dogs!
Also, these are my own lil' monsters, I love 'em to pieces. They are both girls. The Jack Russell Terrier is named Scout (she's a mischief maker and a tom boy) and the Lab-Chow mix is Taunie (she is the golden child who can do no wrong).
I'm really tempted to whine today.
So, couple things about me:
1) I have chronic pain; I've had it in my hip for 12+ years (I'm in my 30's, it started right out of college) and it also periodically migrates to my back, or causes other peripheral pains throughout my back and neck
2) I'm a woman working in a male-dominated industry and I get frustrated easily by the Old Boys Club. I'm working on letting it slide off my back, but there are times where I just have to put my foot down, and I'm just not a confrontational person, so it's difficult for me to deal with those times.
Today, my chronic pain is higher than usual. I also had to deal with a very condescending older man who wanted to argue over legal terminology with me (I'm an attorney, he is not). My schedule is pretty full, and I'm tired and bordering on anxious and depressed. Plus, I'm angry at myself because I scraped someone's bumper while parking a couple weeks ago, and I am now paying the repair on that, which is an expense I just don't need, but I will never be the person who doesn't leave a note for doing something like that (Plus... I left a note, and the person is STILL requesting a cashier's check, so I have to pay the fee for it! Lady, if I didn't want to pay you, I wouldn't have left a note in the first place and just gotten away with it!).
To counteract this, I'm going to list off some positive things:
1) Tonight, I'm having a little bit of seafood for dinner (it'll be a little indulgent, but I'm not going to go crazy - I've learned I can actually handle moderation when I need to)
2) Soon, I will have my two puppy dogs by my side, wagging their tails and cheering me up with their kisses
3) I've made a little bit of money today, which is reassuring, as I'm a small business owner and sometimes get a little financially stressed
4) I gained some weight (1 pound) on vacation, but today I'm down to lower than I was before vacation
5) I managed to do my workout today, despite my back pain (it is pain that, if I keep active, won't stiffen up - it's better to be active than to rest, but sometimes I feel so defeated that I can barely move... today, I overcame that and even did some of my harder exercises on the TRX)
6) I managed to handle the condescending older man while still being classy and professional, but also firm and standing my ground.
7) I get to read a really nice book before I go to sleep tonight (Name of the Wind... almost done with it and ready to start on Book 2 of the series)
Time to power on through and finish the day strong!
Hey everyone - just a low key Saturday - Sure I walked 12 miles that was a tad strange but it was fun... (...LOL). And wanted to post a picture to say it's not just a normal day. Normal for me was gaining weight, being heavy and wishing I could go on a diet. So just checking in - and pretty sure people are sick of all my diatribes on the forum posts. I figure this is my section.. so I can be as vain or boring as I want here .No? Anyway - Off I go to JC today, Trying to not buy expensive entrees and transition more to MOMOs. (LOL I have been on maintenance for many months... and I still buy Jenny. I definitely need to go get weighed in, but I want to substitute the foods with homemade or lower cost items. When on Jenny and ever since August 2016 all I did was buy the Jenny food d, but lately am more price conscious, so why not save some money? I am reluctant - because if it ain't broke don't fix it.... But the budget beckons... and so today we shall see how I do. Maybe buy nothing? OMG. WOW.. I know I have food in the freezer... But feels like such a leap of faith. Think about the money I would spend and use it in the grocery store when I need it. .. Worst case - Jenny is 6 minutes away. OK be strong. That is my plan. Except maybe shakes.... I like that stuff now in my coffee.
OK point of Blog was to post a picture -- Toronto asked me to send one, so I snuck off Thursday eve's data to have the hostess take a photo.... Anyway... Here's why this is not just an ordinary day. I am thin!!! Does is it get old? Heck no! OK off to JC.... See how we did this week.
I am in my third week back on the program. It has been a challenge but I am staying the course. My family doctor put me on some heavy duty antibiotics for a horrible sinus infection. I found out that the antibiotic that I am taking has a side effect of rapid weight gain so I have been drinking a ton of water and staying true to the menus because the last thing I want to see, at my weekly weigh in, is jump in my weight. My first week I lost a little over a pound and then last week I lost three pounds. So very excited!! Good news, two more days of antibiotics. Yippee!!
I have some younger co-workers who are working hard to get back into shape and are trying to eat as clean as possible. They are a great inspiration to me and have helped me stay true to the program. They encourage me to drink my water and if I go to long with out eating they remind me it is time for my snack or go have lunch. It's wonderful when people care and reach out to help.
February 1st is my goal date to begin walking workouts again. I have been in physical therapy for a bum shoulder and hips that are out of whack. I'm hoping I will have made enough progress to once again add exercise back into my daily routine. Missing my walks!!
So it occurred to me that one of my goals for the New year's challenge is to drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water a day. I recently listened to a podcast on losing weight and they were saying big huge goals dont really work for weight loss or to make significant changes. So do goals that support the longer term gola. So I guess my goal is to be healthier and reduce bloat and whatever else water does for you..... also 8 glasses a day today does not seem achievable... so thought I would blog my goal here and record my results.
OK my esteemed sister told me 1 bottle has 16 ounces of water... 4-5 bottles does seem doable
1) Goal: Drink 1/2 my body weight in ounces of water per day by end of 2018
Mini Goal - Drink minimum of 3 bottles of water Week 1 1/2 - 1/7
Morning - when possible - Drink hot water and lemon with ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) to help internal organs do their thing
Drink only 1 glass of coffee at breakfast (can drink more other times of day (COnsider reducing) and drink 2 bottles (32 ounces) of water between breakfast and lunch
Drink 1-2 bottles of water between lunch and dinner (32 ounces)
Water during workout does not count
Day 1 Status: Tuesday: Drank 2 bottles before a late lunch and 1 after lunch total of 48 ounces (Plus 12 or so in my Morning drink that I don't count). See how I do tomorrow...or maybe I should include my hot water with lemon and ACV too? I think I will measure it and include it in my tally.
2/3 OK have to recommit and drink more water!!! Coffee gets in the way and my compulsiveness for a hit... something flavorful... Let's do this this week!
Recently I was talking to a friend about losing weight. I told her how much I hoped to lose and she reached out and gave me a huge hug and asked what she could do to help. I told her to be kind and cheer me on when I started questioning why I was doing this. She said not a problem but she also told me the biggest challenge in losing a large amount of weight is the mental work. It's really not about the food or nutrition as much as the life and eating habits. I thought about her words and realized, for me, that is so true. I have been able to lose to a certain weight range many times but for some reason once I get to that range I let all sorts of thoughts creep in and I never get out of that range.
Basically once I get there I mentally give up but this time around I am not going to let my thoughts defeat me! How do I know that my thoughts won't defeat me this time? Because I figured out what I was afraid of and decided to conquer those fears so that I could live a healthy lifestyle and first step to living a healthy lifestyle means losing all this weight. I realize this is going to be hard work and I need to be positive about the out come. One thing I'm doing, I'm mentally picturing myself at my goal. I've set out outfits that I am going to wear as the weight goes down and I've got a terrific support group. It's been a long time since I have felt confident and happy with my choices and I know with out a doubt that I will succeed this time.
Life is good!
So I am prepping for surgery and want to be as healthy as possible. One of my struggles is eating too many veggies and gas. I figure this is a good time to try and cut back! So starting tomorrow for each lunch and dinner I will commit to one veggie portion. Not a salad and veggie, not nibbling before hand. No need to I can always eat between meals - have a yogurt, water, soda, tea, or a veggie. I feel like I eat so much at meals because I don;t want to feel deprived and think I will be hungry. I won't.
So I rushed over to the pc to declare this to my JC peeps.
B - Usual
S- Snack - Yogurt and fruit
L - JC meal and 8 - 10 ounces salad with dressing
S - Yogurt and maybe fruit
D - JCC meal with cooked veggie 8-10 ounces
Dessert - Artic Zero
Also if you read this far (thanks!) new email for JC peeps MIssBumble2018@gmail.com
Figured I would just use that for JC and it would be easy to see any emails. Figured I would be vulnerable being in pain after surgery and committing to eat less stuffing food. So might need some of your fabulous support. Ill also read the forum .. If I don't write back right away - attribute it to pain killers.
Anyway pre-op appointment tomorrow. Wish me luck
Warning Controversial Posts - As I imagine some of you are against surgery....So you may want to skip this one....
Hi Guys - We' ll for years I have been thinking of getting plastic surgery on my breasts. After losing 100 lbs in Overeater's Anonymous I had a tummy tuck (abdomnioplasty) and thigh skin removed etc (lipectomy) but skipped the breasts. The Abdomen surgery tightened the muscle and removed a ton of excess skin. The thigh = left a pretty big scar, but also got rid of extra skin. I had tons of extra skin.....
So eventually I gained about 60 lbs (kept the 100 off for 10+ years..and then gained.. to August 13 or so 2016 when I decided to make a change. Jenny Craig .. and now Maintenance with a lot of JC frozen meals and some liberties.
So I have decided to do a breast lift and augmentation.. The lift is key when you have lost a lot of weight and augmentation will round out the solution since they currently are like 1/4 filled ziploc bags with water. This surgery will allow me to buy bras at any old store, find workout bras easier.... and go braless if I have the right outfit. So I can see the importance.
So went in for a consult and said what else would you do. The Surgeon recommended a few things.. and got me thinking. I agreed with some, not all - and the prices were astonishing.. so going for 2nd and third opinions. So not jumping at this just yet.
What did they suggest?
1) Under eye baggy area lift - they are really think skinned, very wrinkly and droopy and make me look tired. So this is a local anesthesia operation and not huge.
2) Breast implant and lift - Expensive. When younger people or fit people do this originally - some get away with just an implant. I need both.
3) Retouching up the abdomnioplasty... basically will even get some of the skin drooping near thighs and my extra 2 inches or so of skin on stomach. But you know I may not do that one - as so what if I have a muffin top.. It really is not bad
4) This is the huge one.... redo the thighs sort of by lifting everything up... hard to explain. But sounds major. So if you are very heavy lost a ton of skin... you know what's left (for me anyway) is tough to look at. That said I may just live with it... surgery sounds huge.....
Bottom line - will likely do my eyes at some point and my breasts soon... once I find right doctor. It will be interesting to see what the next doctor recommends. I was pretty open with saying I wanted to know their opinions. I am pretty sure I will stick with my wish list - which is I have always wanted to be able to fit into bras better etc. So I think the Breast lift/enhancement (BTW these will be small oranges not cantaloupes)
Th e doctor did say I could use some fat on my face.. gain a little weight? That's scary to hear. But at least if I do gain a little I can have comfort that it might make my face look better.... Anyway I don't want to let that thought get out of control a I want to stay at my 140 maintenance weight. It works! My next blog will likely be about maintenance. As I am listening to the Half Size Me podcast and been thinking about it alot.
Had to try my new bundt pan, so I made this non-recipe:
1 box of Pillsburry Sugar-Free Vanilla Cake
1 can (15 oz) Libby's pumpkin puree
3/4 cup milk or water
pure vanilla extract, optional
Mix and bake at 325 for about 30 minutes. Makes 16 generous servings (98 cal, 1.5 g fat, 26 g carbs, 1.9 g protein).
Next time I may try greek yogurt instead of milk. Not yet sure if this freezes well.
I am going to have to figure out what I want to do about binging. It's a habit I have for the most part avoided in the last year or two. It comes on me out of the blue. Like for instance today I was so happy about my weigh in, both at home and at Jenny. Down 1.4. But I was almost blacking out at home. Not sure why. I didn't want to eat before my weigh in but I did have an Anytime bar to tide me over. Today I had ordered Planned Menu #1 and as I was going over it I noticed it included a Breakfast Chocolate Muffin. That is a very bad breakfast choice for me. So what do I do when I get home. I dive for that muffin. I even ate the paper. Ok next I want more chocolate so I have my snack early (10:30 am) -- Cookies and Cream Cake. Hmm. There's also the Breakfast Cinnamon Rolls and I could count them as today's Lunch, no? Done. Hmmm. Almost done with my binge. Almost. What else is there? How about the chocolate lava cake? Done. Ok let's go to MFP and look at the damage. If i add in the 7 oz Chardonnay I know I'm going to have (it's once a week wine Friday) it comes to 976. Ok. I will have JC Fish & Chips for dinner and a salad without dressing. That will bring me to 1216 plus salad. Ok it's just a smudge over the calorie threshold but probably screwed up my carbs and sugars big time. But I'm saying this is my plan and it's not even noon yet. Can I keep to this?
Also, long term, I think I am going to have to forego the 10% planned menu discount and substitute any items like muffins, cinnamon rolls and sweet desserts for something not sweet because realistically is it worth about $20 a week to be tempted to binge like this? I don't think so.
Now the funny thing is our house is full of sweets, courtesy of my husband. But I have trained myself to bypass them or allow myself only the tiniest portion. I also never pick up treats when out shopping and neither am I tempted to get in the car or walk somewhere (we have a bakery at the end of our block and a frozen yogurt across the street) and buy a treat. So this latest binge is just a newer form of temptation which I need to strategize around.
I have written on and off in a diary -- an actual book, or scraps of paper, or digitally ever since childhood. Sometimes I like to go back and read. Today I came across this, written maybe only a few years ago, excuse the typos and lack of punctuation/capitalization. I type very quickly to capture my thoughts and don't take the time to capitalize and fix errors:
the other day not sure what made me think about this but i asked myself what in the world would make me happiest? would it be a trip to France, o being able to speak French like a native, or writing a novel and having it published and I realized that no, none of this would make me happy at all if i were not thin. now rather than be ashamed of having such a superficial desire — to look good and wear fashionable clothes and look fantastic in them — i decided to embrace that goal. if that's what i really want then why not pursue and achieve it. it's a goal that can still be achieved, i believe, without starving myself or denying myself any particular food. the only action i need to hew (ww?) to is the only eat when hungry and stop before i feel full. is that not doable? if not following that regimen keeps me from my most desired thing in life what does it say about me? that i do not want to be happy? that i am afraid of happiness? that i am avoiding happiness because i feel i don't deserve it or that i think it is an unworthy goal? why not honor myself? why judge myself and think of this goal as unworthy? the other thing it says about me is that i want the immediate in lieu of the discipline needed to achieve long-term goals. partly i think it is connected to losing sight of my goal as the day progresses. i am fine at breakfast, even at lunch, maybe even up to mid-afternoon but somewhere after 2 pm i start to want something for this day. what is the solution? is it to remind myself later in the day of my goals? i am going to try today by setting my phone alarm for 3 pm and take that time to do something … oh i know go on pinterest and look at clothes or grab my sketchbook and sketch something related, like a belted trenchcoat. that will be experiment for this day.
One of these days, I'll learn to not pat myself on the back so quickly. It always seems to follow with a crash of some sort. I feel like I set myself up for failure. It seems I just can't feel good about an accomplishment until I complete the project. In this case, the project is my healthy eating and weight loss. Why do I do this to myself? It's as if all my demons come out of the close and talk me down.
So... to the point of the food issue: I had some sibling family issues that I took to heart before I bounded onto a bus for an overnight trip to see the Rockettes in NYC. The family issues didn't appear to bother me on the outside. I wasn't really thinking about them, but subliminally they probably caused me some sadness (a food trigger for me). The person I was on the trip with also encouraged me to be off plan for the weekend and enjoy whatever I wanted to eat. OK, yes. I didn't want to eat JC food or think about it. The meals on the trip were pre-ordered. I did fine until I got hungry. I'm assuming I got hungry because my JC plan fills me up with lots of crunchy veges, to which I didn't have access. I got on the scale when I returned and gained 2.5 pounds in 2 days. TWO DAYS! I should mention that 3 days later, it's all off BUT!
It's not a big deal to have a weekend off plan, so long as we go right back into JC as soon as we're back to reality. I'm still in learning phase and this is learning for a lifetime. I accomplished the task of returning to plan, but something was different this time. I really, REALLY didn't want to go back on plan. It took all I could to muster in my strength to get back on the wagon.
In the past I would not have continued. I would have been disgusted with myself. This time? I just don't know. I'm committed. I'm ready to get to goal. I just have to stop beating myself up about the bad days.
How do you clear your mind so that you don't sabotage your good work?
Yeah, I said it. I'm giving myself a pat on the back. I think us women need to do that every now and then. We don't need other people to do it for us. We need to make sure we're doing it to ourselves, right? So, why am I giving myself a pat on the back? Because I'm rockin' the JC vibe! I got through a potentially destructive day:
I signed up to be a Polling Inspector in our NY general election this year. On Tuesday, I arrived at 5:30 am and readied myself for a long day until 9:30 pm. I actually thought ahead. I packed all my JC non-frozen foods for the day because I just didn't want to be caught off guard. Into my backpack went the cranberry/almond barscotti, the chicken salad meal, the fiesta chicken & rice; a JC chocolate shake, a low-fat mozzerella cheese stick, an apple and ranch snaps. Plus two large containers of coffee and a bottle of water.
I should explain that, in the past, I would NEVER do this. It would be my excuse to go off plan. It's going to be a long day and I need the sustenance, right? How could I let all the lil' ole ladies down when they brought in the baked goods, candies and meals for us as we're working away?
Mindset change: I GOT THIS. I didn't have a single baked good, donut, candy, potato chip (my weakness). I didn't even have the roast pork dinner the church was having for the voters, although I did give a donation in lieu of a meal. Nope! I told them I had goals to meet. I wanted to stay on track, especially during this holiday season. Oh they tried, believe me. They came so close as to even trying to put a donut next to my lips. (WTH!) No thanks, I said. I walked away and went into the bathroom to get away from them for a bit, go potty, and to regroup. What is wrong with people? and why do they think that's funny?? I felt like I was being pressured by a drug dealer! Yeah .... sugar drug dealer. UGH! I let it go and didn't dwell on what just happened.
When the dinner came in from the church for the other inspectors, I had a brief moment of regret that I didn't get my own plate. The food smelled really good. I mean, really, really good! But I breathed in through my nose, counted to 10, and pulled out my JC Chicken & Rice meal. I went into the kitchen and heated it up. And I ate it.
Was it as good as their meal probably tasted (and they did have to let me know how good it tasted)? Not really - I didn't doctor it up in my usual way with more veges. But it worked. I have goals... I'm going to do this. I focused on the voters coming in. I checked them in and did all 3 of our jobs while they ate their meal. Anything to keep me busy as the potato chip bag was opened and the smell was wafting through the room, along with roast pork in alot of gravy. I so wanted a potato chip, but we all know one leads to a whole bag - at least for me - and then complete regret.
They ate their chips; I crunched on my ranch snaps. No worries. As the day went on, I felt stronger. As the day turned into night, I became more invincible. OMG! I said to myself. I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS!
The night ended and I was so proud of myself - and amazed at who I am becoming.
The takeaway from this? STAY STRONG SISTER! And pat yourself on the back every now and then. You deserve it.
I'm actively on my journey, but I try not to think too much about it. I'm trying to make it part of my every day life. When I think too much about losing weight, is when I fall off the wagon. I either get frustrated, do the self-hate "why do I have to do this" routine, or tell myself I'm looking good and can splurge...and splurge...and splurge until I get completely off track and then quit.
Well, not now. I can actually visualize myself at goal. For the first time in my life I can visualize goal! You'd think, at 56, I would have hit my goal weight at some point in my life. Well, sadly, no. Nadda. Never as a teen, never as an adult. I've been close, but never at goal. I would use every excuse in the book. Stress being #1 - work stress, extra hours on the job, family stress. So, yeah... stress is my trigger and my excuse for not focusing on my health. I would do the "easy" part of tackling the stress. But now I believe that the past just wasn't "my time" to be at goal. I just wasn't ready to do it. I'd make a half-baked attempt because everyone else wished it for me. But I really didn't care. Until I got so overweight, I had to lose something to feel a teeny bit better. Once I felt a little better, I'd stop. For a person who really needs to lose about 75/80 pounds, feeling better would be around 20-25 pounds.
So, what's different this time? I think I'm still trying to figure that part out. Another thing I wouldn't do is document my journey on paper or in pictures. So... here's my mid-point. I think it's working. I'm not even thinking about quitting. I'm not even stressed about the holiday season.... yet. My JC consultant is my ROCK! I know I wouldn't be here without here.
65 pounds down... time to continue this great trend and not eat over feelings.TY. Jenny Craig! Expensive - No! if you compare it to the cost of being heavy - clothes, health, lack of happiness, not fitting on airplane seats etc. I am worth it... and so are you,
OK Just wanting to set it down my plan for handling very high stress client... in hotel all week and working late hours. Goal: Maintain the path forward... lose 2 pounds or so - by keeping it clean.
1) JC French toast for breakfast (Barscotti today on travel day)
2) Lunch JC Loaded or Healthy Steamers - Linguini and Salad with Skinny Girl
3) Dinners- Buy Zoodles at whole foods, Artic Zero fro dessert... and pair with JC entree - lasagna or creamy penne
If out to dinner - have tea with stevia
Snacks - yogurt, fruit
Workout at Orange Theory Tues, Wed, Thur, Sat & Sun
Show up to forum and help others
Next weigh in - success!!! And on to maintenance with a bit more lee way
Key: Handle airport - with Tea, Diet Coke, Green beans for plane
Key: tough times- whatever comes my way - go for a walk. listen to book on tape, hit the gym, make a call. Do not eat something. Everything passes.. and being thin is miraculous and fabulous. Like winning the lottery!!! Size 4-6-8-10-12 Whaaat? This is amazing. Lets keep it
Also work on Quantity - Less veggies per meal.. stomach and digestion will be very helpful...
Due to travel, company, social obligations, and unexpected car repairs, I have been "off plan" for almost 3 weeks in a row! YIKES! Fortunately, I am using my JC menus from prior weeks to try and "re-create" similar menus from my own kitchen. I am still doing the cottage cheese, Greek yogurt with fruit, string cheese, almonds, etc. for my snacks and then trying to create healthy, small-portion meals that are similar to a JC frozen entree. I have been making veggie kabobs, grilled chicken, vegetable soups, tuna and chicken salad, and a breakfast taco, omelette, or egg sandwich. I cook for my Women's Group from church once a week, which actually hasn't been a problem--for some reason, when I am preparing a meal for others, I tend not to eat much because I have no appetite after all the food prep! Hoping to get back on plan next week, but I'm pleased that I have still managed to lose 5 pounds doing my own thing, which is going to be important for maintenance--not to go back to my bad habits and continue cooking healthy options and managing portion sizes. I do need to get my fitness regimen going. I've been walking the dogs a couple days a week and doing some strengthening exercises, but now that it is getting darker earlier, I need to put my exercise DVDs and stationary bike to better use. It is just so hard for me to fit exercise into my schedule on weekdays. I have lost about 10 pounds since I re-started, so I am on track. Lots of people have commented that I look like I have lost weight, and my clothes certainly fit better, although I can't quite go down a dress size quite yet. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, so I am anxious to see if it has made a difference on my blood work.
I am really enjoying the program so far. I like not having to worry about planning my meals. I am training to do a Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning and eating right is giving me more energy! I have a dinner plan for tomorrow night. I am a little nervous about it. Any pointer anyone has would be greatly appreciated! I will eat my meals as planned and save my fats for dinner. Bread and butter is my downfall. I hope I can be strong enough to resist!