Yesterday I got to be a part of an event at our local Christopher & Banks and it was so much fun! Before I started this journey I preferred men's oversized t-shirts and jeans, and while I know that I am a girl would always tell everyone that I was not a girl. I got to walk around the store, showing off the clothes, while sharing my story and it felt great. The best thing is that I was wearing a size 6 pant and medium tops! Holy Cow! While I still have 31.2 pounds until I have reached my goal, I purchased myself some girly clothes, I am so excited to get dressed up for work. I'm a girl again!
I have not felt this good about myself in a long time and I owe it all to My Jenny Craig center, my consultant, and the members here that are so very supportive of me on this journey. I have shared some photos for your viewing pleasure.
Today was my first day back on plan after 5 years. I was able to maintain my weight loss over the past years but had a very bad year that has spun me out of control and unable to get my bearings on my own. I'm someone who has always struggled with depression and anxiety, but this past year was marked by a health crisis for my husband and the loss of my father. I have allowed myself some leeway because of the nature of these struggles, but I am very very hard on myself. In the past few months, I've gained about 15 lbs. and as a result have done nothing but beat myself up and spin further into depression. I want to keep myself focused and accountable as I begin this journey. I want to be kinder to myself and as supportive of myself as I truly am of others. I want everyone to be happy and achieve their goals, but when it comes to myself, I struggle with this. So this isn't just about losing 20 lbs. for me. This is about shifting my mindset to one of support and acceptance of myself. I want to celebrate even the smallest of successes and lean on others who truly understand the struggle when obstacles arise. I am hoping to grow as a result of this experience so that I am stronger, not for weighing less, but as a result of slowing down and being kinder and fairer to myself. I am proud of the fact that I made it through the first day successfully. I am proud that I finally took action after months of complaining about being unhappy with how much weight I've gained. I"m ready to do this!
“Knowing Is Not Enough; We Must Apply. Wishing Is Not Enough; We Must Do.”- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
I have a routine.
It only took like 10 days, and I have an eating routine. It's awesome.
My eating had become so disordered. I wanted to not keep soda in the house, but then every morning I would wake up scheming to sneak off to McDonald's without being obvious to my family (sometimes impatiently waiting for them to leave the house, one time WALKING b/c I didn't have access to a car!), or I would settle on just going, defensively, or I would suffer until lunch, not thinking about anything but soda. I would get into habits of going to a particular drive through for lunch - and then I would go every day for a month. I volunteer to go to the grocery store, or make up a reason to go ("we need lemon juice") so I could also get a soda and some sweet treats. I would refuse to put any of these items on our regular grocery list, but who was I kidding? I was just acquiring it the expensive... and invconvenient... and dishonest way.
Now, I wake up and drink a glass of water. After a while I have my Jenny breakfast. I'll get some things done and then have any anytime bar. Lunch with a salad. Snack (I have my snacks in the afternoon, when I really feel temped). Dinner and a salad. If I feel like I want something late at night that's off plan, I just go to bed. I'm very well-rested lately!
It's such a dream though - knowing when I want to eat again, there's on-program food waiting for me. I don't feel so panicked. I'm not making schemes to sneak off to fast food (which always made me feel terrible, emotionally AND physically anyway). I remember from an OA program they say, "Three meals a day and life in between." I really feel that. With the plan and with the food prep done for me - I'm really experiencing my LIFE. And since I'm losing weight and making food choices I'm proud of - experiencing life is great. My life is actually really great.
Thanks for reading!
PS My 4 year has made a full recovery from the trifecta. We have a few more days of antibiotics and tamaflu, but his fever and other symptoms are gone and he's back to himself again. Thanks again for the prayers/well wishes!
Good Saturday everyone. Well, I had my weigh in yesterday and only lost 0.6 lbs. I'm sure last Saturday had something to do with it, but I feel it shouldn't be THAT low (please keep in mind I'm on RR). I was on the 1500 cal plan, so my consultant lowered me to 1200 in hopes that I will start to lose. I'm so angry about this! I pay >$160/week for JC and I'm getting absolutely no where. It is so disheartening, and no matter how hard I try, it is putting me into a depression. I'm going to really fight the urge to binge while I'm depressed, but it will be hard.
PS. it isn't just the lack of weight loss that is putting me into a depression; life stressors and family stressors are really taking their toll on me. I just need prayers to whatever you believe in.
Yesterday I posted about my goal to follow the plan precisely. Not aiming for perfection, but also not using "I'd better not be a perfectionist!" as an excuse to eat off plan. One week of eating precisely on plan is possible.
Then I ate my dinner at like 4pm b/c I was hungry! I figured I could has a salad with my family at a normal dinner time.
But that meal didn't turn out how I planned. We took my 4 year old to the ER where he tested positive for the flu AND strep AND pneumonia. We were there from 5-9:30. My husband had a vending machine snack and offered me some - I declined. (Lucky for me, I had already eaten my dinner!)
My baby is going to be okay! We've got a lot of meds and he's already bouncing back having been on antibiotics for more than 24 hours now.
In the past, this would have seemed like an insurmountable obstacle - a perfect excuse (who could blame me?) for going off plan. But I didn't.
I had my crisis, and I didn't need to eat anything over it. I felt my feelings, did the mom thing with a baby who needs help, and I think I ended feeling a lot calmer and more capable b/c I was making food a crutch to get me through the evening. When your legs work fine, a crutch just gets in the way.
Hope you all are having victories too! Let's go get one tomorrow!
Today is a rough day for me. I have been struggling for the last 4-5 weeks with ringing in my inner ear and it is causing me to be edgy and irritable with the ones that I love. Since starting this journey, I have seen an increase in my overall happiness, but there are times when I am not happy and I am finally understanding that it is okay.
I was a part of a Jenny motivational group on Facebook up until three days ago, when I left the group. Someone had posted that they had a large amount of weight to lose and that this was not the first or even second time that they had started Jenny, but the large amount of weight to lose discouraged them because they did not think it was achievable. When I saw that I had to share my story with her. I told her that my goal would require me to lose 148 pounds, and rather than focusing on the end game, I created several smaller goals (with the help of these forums and @missbumble's challenges) and now I am 31.6 pounds away from my goal. Then, someone else posted a response that hit me hard, they said that all of the postings of people losing large amounts of weight can be discouraging to others that are struggling. I replied, that by sharing my story I am aiming to encourage others, and would hate to think that by posting my successes was hurting or hindering anyone on this journey. At that point, I decided to leave the group. It hit me hard to think that by sharing my success and happiness with my results, that I was harming others on this journey. I realized today, that it is okay, there are going to be people that are affected negatively by my story (or other success stories) but then there are going to be people that are happy for me, and that are motivated by my story. It is not all peaches and rainbows all of the time, and that is okay.
The point of this post, is that this journey is a hard one, and the success stories often only spot light the happy times, but that is unrealistic. We are all human and we are going to go through rough times, and it is okay. You're not going to be able to please everyone all of the time, and that is okay. Not everyone, is going to like you or your story, but its okay.
Life is hard, this journey is hard and it is okay. While today is a rough day for me, and I am irritable and frustrated, I am human and I know that it is okay.
My name is Tricia Hensley. I started with Jenny Craig on June 27th at 278.4 pounds and I am currently sitting at 161.6 having lost 116.8 pounds. I am healthier and happier since starting this journey but I am human, there will be good days and there will be bad days, but it is OK.
Life is not always sunshine and rainbows and it is okay.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces." That's what Bridget Jones says - and oh, I LOVE Bridget Jones. I was less enthused about the sequels and I haven't read the book, but I have seen that movie a million times.
But I think she's wrong.
I think success in one area tends to beget success in another area. And flailing about in one area tends to cause flailing about all over the place! I've seen this cycle of flailing invade my life - it'll start with work, then my marriage, then the state of my house, then parenting, then social commitments and on and on. But you can ride that cycle in both directions!
Work is better today (I worked late last night in a big push to get a few troublesome projects across the finish line), and what do you know? Staying on plan is going better too! I mean - I think I might always want my sweet snack at about 9:30am, but my plan for the week is to respond to every inclination to make an off-program choice by drinking a glass of water, praying, and waiting 15 minutes. I remember reading that in a People Magazine Half-My-Size issue years and years ago. One of the women who was half her size said she did it with Jenny Craig, and that whenever she was tempted to go off-plan - she'd drink a glass of water and pray.
I'm adopting this strategy for this week. And I can report that I have had a lot of water! Bonus! But so far today, I'm precisely on plan. My goal is to achieve a full week precisely on plan. I'm trying not to say "perfectly" b/c that perfectionism thing is tough and being perfect is not my goal. Still - that doesn't mean I can be precisely on plan for a week. Perfection is unattainable, but eating according to the JC plan IS attainable. I think in the past I've used "better battle perfectionism!" as an excuse to go wild with the off-plan desserts... not exactly a well-intentioned self-care move there. But setting my eyes on a full week precisely on plan? That's something I can do.
So back to my cycle of success: work is better - I'm much less stressed. I'm eating precisely on plan. I got totally dressed/made up before work started today (this is a hazard of working from home), and I'm experiencing a real sense of well-being. I didn't let myself down when the urge to eat my s'mores bar arrived at 9:30. I drank some water, said a prayer, and got back to work. AND my tax refund came in, so we're officially no longer in credit card debt - which feels GREAT! I mean, I filed weeks ago, so I knew this was coming/had the plan established, but actually getting the money and paying the cc (that we've been carrying a balance on forever, hopping from one 0% interest offer to the next) - IT FEELS GREAT!
I've got a bunch to accomplish before the end of my work day, but I feel like it's really do-able. Tonight, I hope to get my desk at home cleared off. I need to put some laundry in. But you know - even if I don't get everything on my to do list done, I have a lot to be thankful for, a lot to enjoy, a lot to feel great about.
Here I go, precisely on plan (food plan anyway) for the week, and giving myself grace on the rest.
Happy Tuesday everyone! It's been a while since I posted, but the only reason is because I kept forgetting to get on to post. Friday I went to my weigh in at JC and only lost 1.6 lbs. This would be great if I wasn't on the RR program. The consultant said I should have lost more, so we discussed my week to see where I fell short. We really could not settle on it. I keep track of my food on MyFitnessPal, so I showed her that I was sticking to the plan religiously. We settled on it just being due to the fact that I wasn't meeting my calorie goal (I wasn't getting over 1200 calories and I'm on the 1500 plan). My body must have been in starvation mode. Turns out, the food plan I was given for week 1 was not the RR plan, but the regular plan!!! So with me being on the regular plan, I was successful!! Now I am on the correct plan and will see how much I lost on Friday. My home scale says I've lost 4-5 lbs since Friday...
Saturday was a busy day for me. I am now the assistant coach for my son's soccer team so I had coach training in the morning. It was rainy and muddy out so it wasn't the most fun. Then, after a trip to Walmart, I came home and took a nap before being picked up to go do a 5k/1k. I joined my mom and a few of our friends for the Wicked Wine Run. It was so much fun, aside from the fact that my mom gave me all her wine so I was responsible for drinking 10 glasses of wine (I only drank 7, dumped 2, and gave 1 to a friend). I can't tell my mom about JC, so I had to just go with it. I told them I was on a diet but they kept telling me that I'm allowed one day to cheat, so I went with that instead of disciplining myself to not drink.
Did I ever mention I am a serious wine-o? I freaking love wine!! 🍷
So after the run, we went to Red Robin. I ate half of a Royal Robin and a lot of fries. Sunday I woke up at 0200 with a horrible migraine, so I drank 1/2 of a coke and took medication. I think the sulfites in the wine caused the worst migraine in my life, and if you suffer from migraines you can attest to the fact that you will do anything to alleviate the pain. Eventually I went back to sleep and woke up good as new, aside from the overwhelming guilt I felt from letting myself go off the wagon. I have been doing so well with my plan and I jacked it all up on that night. My husband keeps reminding me that I worked out and needed the food, I didn't eat my JC dinner or last 2 snacks, and that the only thing I could do is stick to it again and bounce back. I am doing that now. I do not feel so guilty anymore.
Last night I started 2 new classes. I am excited about it! I'm a sophomore at a university in San Antonio. School is stressful, but I've learned to not eat my stress.
Hope y'all had a great weekend and have a great week!
And I know there's usually a bigger loss in the first week, and I know water weight is a part of it, and I know I'll likely not see another 6 pound weight loss week again, and I know that I'll have to remind myself of that over and over this week so I don't end up disappointed with a good loss for week 2 that won't be in the stratosphere. I know.
But in the meantime - I'm on cloud 9 and I'm going to enjoy it! Six pounds down on my 82 pound journey - that means just 76 pounds left to go. It also means that if I lose 2.2 pounds next week, I'll be 10% of the way there (that is, I will have lost 10% of 82 pounds - the amount I want to lose, not 10% of my body weight).
I've got a full week on the books and I'm so happy with the program!
- There are some foods worth avoiding. I notice my slip-ups were correlated with a meal that I didn't like/finish. I did great with the first meal I didn't like (the pot pie) - I didn't finish it, but I had my salad and I was fine. But 2 days later, it was not the same story.
- Those long walks are really good for my weight loss. Sure - I'm real tired afterwards and a little useless for the rest of the day, but my husband is supportive and it's okay if I'm a little useless toward the end of the day 4 times a week. It's okay to go to bed early.
- Eat the salad - skipping it leads to slipping up!
- When you've finished the meal, don't go wandering around the kitchen.
- Your kids will eat meals that you love and meals that you don't love. Cook the ones you don't love for them right now. It's easier on you.
I made like 5 substitutions to my menu for the upcoming week, which lost me my $16 off, but who cares? I'm not coming to Jenny Craig for my financial health! And the better I do on program, the sooner I'll be at my goal and working on a transition to food that's a bit less expensive. Although, honestly, being healthy is a lot less expensive than being obese!
AND my kids are going on a little trip with my in-laws this weekend, so we'll have a significant reduction of activity/noise/craziness for the weekend. I'll miss them when they're gone, but I confess, I'm looking forward to sleeping in on Saturday and having my house and my husband to myself for a couple days!
I'm totally over soda. I quit cold turkey when I joined the program, and the light headaches I've been getting appear to have ceased. That's a big deal for me.
Lot of wins, big and small. I met with my consultant this week (last week, everyone was at a new hire training, so I had my consultation with the center director). Her name is Maddie, and she's lovely. Very encouraging. She contributes to that wonderful atmosphere of hope and security at the center. This is going great!!!
I was looking through old photos yesterday and I am completely amazed by the differences that Jenny has made for myself and my family. My husband and I started on Jenny planned menus on 6/27/2017 while our son was too young to be on the program my consultant included him in our weigh ins and even made him a chart of his own (when he went to the center with us). So, while eating planned menus, I was learning to cook and feed my son healthier options. Our starting weights were as follows:
Current weights are:
For a combined total loss of 226.8 pounds.
I am and always will be eternally grateful for this opportunity that was given to my family. My son's results alone make this entire journey worth it!
I fell a little behind on the forums and keeping up with my blog, because last week, I got hit with a NASTY bug... an awful sinus infection!!
It started on Wednesday night, I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat, and by Thursday morning I was coughing a lot. I was still functional, it was really just the sore throat at that point, so I kind of prayed that it was allergies and powered through my day.
Well, late Thursday night I woke up and could hardly fall back to sleep, because that's when the sinus problems really started. Oh, boy I was NOT a happy camper. Friday morning, I woke up to terrible sinus pain. I had to survive a client meeting in the morning, but I left right away and went home afterward. I tried to rest, but the pain was so terrible, any shifting at all and my sinuses would just throb and throb. I finally managed to fall asleep at 7pm and woke up on Saturday morning. The pain had gone down by a significant margin, though it was still lingering in the background and I was pretty congested.
But, I committed to work an adoption event at the city shelter that day, so I got my meds, packed a bunch of extra tissues and water, and helped 10 dogs (and 1 cat) get adopted that day! (and by helped, I mean I stood around a lot, but I did answer questions, direct traffic, got people connected with their volunteers and adoption counselors, etc, so it was a lot of "hurry up and wait" but it was good)
So, through all of this, it was really, really hard to eat. I just didn't feel like it. I made myself eat some things, but it was not easy. Then, when I finally got a little bit of appetite back on Saturday night/Sunday, it's like my body latched onto all the food and doesn't want to let it go. Before the sickness set in, I was down a few pounds, and then when I wasn't able to eat, I was down even more. But, when I weighed myself this morning, I'd gained it all back. I deviated from plan just a little bit (I got some hot and sour soup to clear my sinuses, and had some crackers, and I did have a couple cookies when nothing else sounded good but I really needed to eat), but not that much, so I was surprised that it all came back as soon as I was able to eat with a normal appetite again. So, I'm a bit disappointed, but I will keep on trucking - illness just sucks and I had to get through it to get to the other side.
100% on plan yesterday - feels good! And pancakes for breakfast - who doesn't love that?
I'm really excited to weigh in tomorrow, but I've got to buckle down and have a productive work day today! It's hard though. I'm such an all-or-nothing person. I can work like a maniac, really over-working myself, for a period of time, but then I get onto something else and excited about it and I turn into a real scatterbrain about work. I just want to read the forums and fill out my menu and organize my freezer! I don't want to prepare quotes or invoice anyone!
And part of me thinks: That's okay. Use the enthusiasm to really get in the JC groove. It will be good to establish good routines and have things set up for the future when it gets to be less exciting. And the other part of me thinks: Just work. If work suffers then you'll get stressed about it, and work stress is a trigger for off-plan choices!
The second voice is right. I need to work now and then indulge in all my silly JC-centric rituals and meditations this evening! It's just remarkable to me that when things go good it's so much easier for things to KEEP going good! But then, slacking at work is sort of a round-about way to self-sabatoge. So I'll resist that. Off to get my work To Do list complete. Check, check, check. Just like my JC menu.
Ah - there's the option to BLOG! THAT's what I was looking for.
I wrote a couple novels over in the forum boards, but was feeling... I don't know... like what I really wanted was a BLOG!
So I'm on Day 5 and I've had a curious week.
I binged out a little on Day 2 - that breakfast bagel is not the breakfast for me. I negotiated with myself (always a harbinger of an off plan choice) for some fancy cheese spread on the bagel, which tasted pretty good - lots of salt - and next thing you know, I've had 2 more bagels (from my kitchen, like food for my fam, not for me) with all the rest of the cheese.
I'm not sure it's a good idea for me to weigh myself every day - I can get really obsessive about the scale, weighing multiple times in the morning... it just gets silly. So I have been weighing myself a bit, but not writing it down, and certainly not agreeing with that space on my menu for "daily weight." No. BUT I did happen to have weighed myself and seen 227 and then after the binge it was like 229.something, and very discouraging. But I'd written on the front of my menu in the "This week's plan for success:" spot: "Don't overthink it - let the plan do the thinking for you. Just follow the plan."
I was listening to an audio book by a woman who had lost weight, and she happened to say, "Don't overthink it," in the part of the book I was listening to. It called me back! It was just a coincidence I'm sure, but I felt grounded again. Just follow the plan.
So then I strung together several on plan (or almost on plan) days. I had a 200 calorie slip up yesterday, but for the most part, I'm feeling empowered. My weight today was down to 226.something, which put me in a good mood. I'm must not cower in the face of a gain/plateau on the scale though. Which is why I think not weighing might be the better choice for me. Also - I weigh in the morning in light pj's. I'm pretty sure if I weigh on Tues morning like I normally do, I'll be disappointed at my Tuesday 3pm appt when I'll have eaten and drank breakfast and lunch! And I don't want to be disappointed at my appt - I want to be delighted! And I think if I stay on plan today, Monday, and Tuesday, and don't weigh in the mornings, that this is JUST what will happen!
I'm really seeing my time at JC as a training course, or a boot camp maybe! My eating has become really disordered over the years. Part of it has been that I've tried some really serious diets that produce results but are so counter-cultural, they end up being really difficult to stick to... Nutritarianism anyone? And while I believe that Dr. Furhman (author of Eat to Live, and a zillion other books that all say the same thing: you will be healthy if you eat only fruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, and seeds) is exactly right - I need some baby steps toward that kind of eating. Instead, I've just gotten overwhelmed and binged and binged.
So now I'm trying to learn how to eat 3 meals and give myself permission to have 2 snacks every day. I totally believe in ending the eating window fairly early each evening, so I put the evening treat either in the afternoon or as a part of my evening meal. The portion sizes are critical - I'm trying to re-intigrate a proper understanding of a reasonable portion size! And then the routine eating of fruits and vegetables is also something I consider to be a high priority. I've swung wildly in the past between all veg all the time and then none for weeks on end. I need that balance of salads, fruit, and veg every day, but not to the exclusion of other food groups, b/c that's when I really start feeling deprived and a binge sneaks up and grabs me!
I remember from prior JC periods in my life and my mom and I marvelled over the following sitch: "I wanted an off program treat, but I resisted it. An hour later, I realized I felt fine. Like - I would feel exactly the same whether I had the treat or not - it wasn't some magical treat. If I had it, an hour later I would feel fine. If I didn't have it, an hour later I would feel fine. So how about I DON'T have it, save myself the calories, and in addition to feeling the same physically, I can also feel proud of myself for staying on course!"
Sun, Mon, Tues: on program days
Sun, Mon, Tues: no morning weigh ins, so I can be delighted with my Tuesday afternoon weigh in
Stay on task at work, b/c when I feel good about work, it's easy to feel good about the rest, and it's easier to make good decisions!
Dinner and breakfast eaten and onward with day 1 (yesterday I signed up in the afternoon and had a JC dinner - doesn't exactly seem like day 1). I wish I had thought to ask for an extra dinner so my menu would go Wed-Tues. I think I might do that next week, so that I don't have an evening of one day filled out and then the morning and afternoon wait a week... I'm a little particular about my menu, and I feel like JC makes room for that. My consultant put me on Week 2 to start and asked if that would be okay - she was very understanding that some people want the menu to say "week 1" during week 1. That's a switch I don't mind, but I thought it was really nice that she asked
After my waffles, 1/2 fruit, and shake, I'm feeling very full - which is a good sign. Not sure about that shake... it has an aftertaste that might not be my favorite. And this might be silly, but it seems like a greek yogurt with some fruit in it is more of a lifestyle change. I get a weird "slim fast" feeling drinking a shake... or I think of all the ladies I used to work with who did "Shakeology" and I think I'm just not a shake person. So next week, I'm might skip the shakes. It seemed like an optional addition when I put my menu together with my consultant - is that right?
Oh - and I forgot my snack last night. Stop the presses! This is HUGE NEWS! Dagney the UnDaunted was so enthused about starting the program, having my chicken pot pie, really not liking it so giving up after eating half, then eating an unlimited-foods salad along with my cooked veggies, that I forgot the SWEET TREAT! This is very out of character, and I think it will never happen again. It's like a solar eclipse or a blood moon or something - only happens once every 3 generations, so I won't be alive to do it when the time rolls around again! LOL!
But on that half-eaten pot pie: 1. I think I over cooked it, so the gravy got too thick, although I don't plan to try again to see anytime soon... too many other yummy options to try out first. 2. I felt so powerful, so in-control, being able to say, "I don't like this," but not entertaining the idea that I would do anything other than stop eating it and have some unlimited foods to ensure I felt satisfied with my meal. And I really did feel satisfied! It didn't actually occur to me to go roaming through my kitchen, negotiating with myself on how many calories do I think I left on the plate? Justifying an off-program choice with those uneaten bites of JC food.
Here's that I think is going on: I have dieted, on and off, since that first JC run in 2004. Which is to say, JC went great - I had great support from my mom, and then I got a roomate my senior year in college who was a swimmer and interested in healthy eating, so we supported each other, and then I got married and was very isolated those early years. I gained a lot, tried Jenny, tried a bunch of other things - and that's when the terribly cycle really took hold: I was alone, and I kept trying to do crazy things, and I really started binge eating - secret eating, huge portions, etc.
Then, things got sorted out on a personal level - I reconnected with friends, DH and I got some counseling (that's a good story - remind me to tell it!), but now I had established some very disordered eating habits: I had done some many "end of days" eating-fests the night before my perfect diet would start, that the binge-before-the-diet became my REGULAR DIET! That's a really effective way to gain a lot of weight.
Then I had my babies. I didn't gain or lost weigh with each one - fluctuating each pregnancy between 220-230. And I had my babies without epidurals (the second one was induced for health reasons, so that was really a wild ride!) but I felt so strong and empowered. (If you had a baby with an epidural, please don't hear me saying I think less of your choice - I only mean that this choice was right for me). So I was getting to a healthier mindset, but boy was our life crazy. Two kids in two years and all the breastfeeding and diapers and working during that time - we moved across the country twice, DH donated a kidney to my dad (saving his life), and I changed jobs 3 times. We opened and closed a church plant. We opened and closed a business. Now DH is back to school to be a math teacher and I've got a great job that gives us a little breathing room.
During all this time - the dieting continued, and I'd lose 5 pounds and gain it back, and on and on.
Until I stopped last fall.
I was tired of always feeling like such a failure, so I just gave myself permission to be at this weight. DH supported this: "I want you to be happy. I think not worrying so much about your weight might help!" And I visited a church I don't normally go to - and that's a whole story on it's own - and we prayed for in a way that really impacted me (remind me to tell you that story! LOL!).
But now: I'm starting Jenny having given myself a break from the horrible cycle. And my main goal is not to look cute in clothes (though I won't mind that if it happens). My main goal is to establish some normal eating practices. I don't want to binge and then have a perfect diet day only to blow it in the evening and feel like a failure for weeks, and then start all over again. I just want to learn proper portion-size, develop the habits of eating 3 times a day, drinking water, and not turning to food to fix any uncomfortable emotions.
Okay - I moved this (b/c I think I'll want to reflect on it later) from the Forum - my Day 1 entry:
Signed up today!
14 years ago I did the program with my mom during my last summer of college. I lost 10 pounds in 4 weeks and I was really surprised at what a difference 10 pounds can make! (160 down to 150)
It was a great summer b/c I wasn't working and my mom wasn't working - we just hung out, walked every day, and obsessed over food! I told her that I thought my boyfriend was going to propose that fall - which was great b/c it gave her some time to acclimate to that idea. And he did, and I kept losing that fall and spring and literally got married on the thinnest day of my adult life.
Our marriage got off to a tough start though - and I started gaining like crazy.
I did the program again a couple years after that, but I was really in a weight-gaining time of my life, so there were ups and downs... mostly ups. I could barely afford it, which created a lot of stress with my husband. He wanted to be supportive, but he didn't really know what was and wasn't helpful...
Now - life is completely different. I'm at 232, so I have a lot of weight to lose! But new to me know is that DH and I have a lot of life skills that we were lacking in our early twenties. We have 2 boys (4yo and 6yo), and we're in a much better place financially. I told him I was considering joining and he said, "Great!" That was it. No hesitation. No questions. No side eye. Just support.
I came home from my appt and said, "well - it was just what I wanted and I'm really pumped! Although... I did end up buying the $3 bagel. I should find a good substitution for that..." and he said, "Or - you just need to be oaky with buying a $3 bagel. I'm okay with it. That's the point right? They do the thinking, you don't worry about things. Just follow the plan." It was wonderful.
It's raining, so I can't go on the walk I'd planned... guess I should use the elliptical machine we bought last fall, eh? I'm silly.
I didn't have a very productive day at work, b/c I was just so excited to go sign up for JC! I'm going to capitalize on my enthusiasm and have a great start to my plan with my dinner and veg. I'm thrilled to be here! I'd love to hear from other newbies - we can revel in our newbie excitement and keep that positive energy going!!!!
AHHHH! I completely forgot to post yesterday! So day 3 was better. I drank the shake with breakfast and was feeling much more sustained throughout the morning. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't tempted by cake and spaghetti! I absolutely loved the Creamy Penne that I had for lunch, and the Loaded Baked Potato was heaven. I am a carboholic. I couldn't keep up with the Keto diet because I couldn't have my pasta and potatoes. JC is a God send and I thank God everyday that I have the money to do this and get healthy!
How was your Tuesday?
Aloha again! Today was day 2 and I am already starting to have horribly overwhelming cravings and feeling hungry. I am following the plan to the letter, but for some reason I don't think I am getting adequate protein or something because I'm not satisfied. I am on the 1500 cal diet, and I was very active today. So far, for my fruit, I have only had the allotted amount of apple and bananas, and I have been eating Dannon Light & Fit Greek Yogurt. I am thinking the shake did help more than me just going off the yogurt. I have been staying true to the plan and have not strayed, but man this is a killer. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Oh, I forgot to mention that today is my son's 10th birthday. I am so glad I get the lemon cake because it is helping to keep me from cheating. If I wasn't on JC, I would have said "oh this is my son's birthday, I can have a slice to celebrate... and a nice [big] scoop of ice cream."
What has helped you keep the cravings and hunger at bay?
(written yesterday, posted in wrong spot!)
Hello everyone! My name is Jessie and today was day 1 for me on RR. I was doing really well until I found out that my son stole my S'mores bar that I was supposed to have tonight! I was really looking forward to it! He also ate my kettle corn and another bar... I also missed a couple of my fruit servings, so I just had an apple in place of the bar. I love the food so far though. I was so glad today was pizza day on my meal plan because we had pizza to celebrate my son's birthday, so the pizza and salad made it really easy to stick to the plan. I am really shocked at how full I have been today. The vanilla shake this morning worked wonders on my appetite, which is amazing because I am not usually able to control my appetite. I have struggled with binge eating disorder and my psychologist thought JC would be good because of the portion control. I am so proud of myself for not cheating and not binging!
So far, JC has been great... but it's only day 1. If the program is always this great, I will have no trouble dropping the 83#s I need to lose! I am so excited!!! I really hope to meet some great people on here as well. My husband has always been fit and does not know what it is like to be obese/overweight and have to work so hard to lose weight.
Good luck everyone!!!
I've been loving the supportive, uplifting community here for the past week or two since joining, and it feels like for every ounce of positivity I put out there, I get a pound back. Thank you! (And thank goodness a pound of positivity is NOT the same weight as a pound of fat, lol!)
I have to confess: I am struggling to have a positive attitude today. Unfortunately, yesterday and today my back and hip have been hurting more than usual, making it difficult to stand up or sit back down. Also, I've been encountering a few negative attitudes in my offline life that are just wearing me down. I haven't had all my mental resources available because they're getting used up keeping me distracted from my pain so I'm functional.
Also, is it just me or is it PMSy in here, like to to the Nth degree? Oh, wait, that's just me! ARGH.
I'm working hard to focus on my victories. I think, by this time next week, I'll be squarely out of the 170's and into the 160's for the first time in a couple years! Also, I have a new body con dress I'll be wearing on Monday for my weigh-in (my consultant is great and always tells me my outfit looks nice and it really boosts my self-esteem, it's the little things, lol!). I have a matching scarf to wear with it, too. I get clothing via a service called Le Tote, that lets me try a handful of new outfits every month (one of those "keep what you love, send back what you don't" services), and this'll be another one of them. I'm not good at picking out clothes for myself, so this has been a really good service for me to try new things, and I really look forward to the 2 or 3 boxes I get per month.
Today, I am wearing my favorite shade of blue, and an aromatherapy necklace (there's a leather pad inside the locket that you can put a couple drops of essential oil onto and it wafts pleasantly). I've started my first week of The Artist's Way, a self-help book about creative discovery and nurturing your creative self. I GET LAVA CAKE FOR DESSERT TONIGHT!
Keeping the good thoughts going, inch by inch as I make it through the day to get to the weekend!
OK So I thought I would take the inspiration from the blog post of @Staci Greene. You guys must go read her post. Her success on Jenny is truly inspiring and her pants are falling of... You Go Girl! And she planned an awesome day yesterday. So thought I would plan my day in a similar vein.
OK so here's the great news. My pants fit. Yup - I am rocking the size 4 Lululemon workout pants! So happy they fit. working from home today - so no great outfit, but will change into golf shorts as I think this afternoon's after work plan will be to go practice golf. With a light workload, I have been walking a ton after work At some point I should probably rest? so I'll go golf a bit.. that's restful So my sized 6 SwingbySwing golf shorts will fit as well. YAY! My Pants Fit!
OK, today went to OrangeTheory had a great workout. Endurance day - so longer push blocks on the tread followed by Active recovery - Base pace jog) then pushes and a couple of all outs. Total of 30 minutes on Treadmill and then 30 minutes on Water rower and weight bench. Single leg static lunges, rows, lunges, and some work for backs and chests and biceps. All good. 60 min total about 500+ calories. And a bunch of splat points (for your OrangeTehry enthusiasts).
Then Kodiak Pancake breakfast 1.25 servings (6 small pancakes I adore)
Next change AC filter
Get template made for Bathroom cabinet (Install in process and amazing!!)
Then look for new work project and study for work...
Lunch - Flatout, tuna, parmesan, veggies and salad
Work, Golf, Home Depot maybe to buy dinners... or lighting company to buy trim for recessed lights
Netflix - 90210 Season 3.. I am addicted.
Be the happy person you want to be. Watched this today - Awesome.
OK time to go be Happy.
You Got This guys!!! Being thin - not overeating, stocking to the plan is so worth it. My Pants Fit. Staci's Pants are falling off! Your pants will be falling off too. This is our day, our year, our decade. Let's not go start a diet again and spend a moment unhappy because of our weight.
Does anyone read these things? Leave a comment - let me know what your happy is? How your plan is going? Or more importantly, how I can help you I know y'all help me every day! Thank you,
Everyone. Is. Complaining. OMG. Today, I've had the two primary people in my life both texting me ALL MORNING upset and sad and angry about things. I'm trying hard to focus on an overdue work project, so juggling this is tough. ARRGH! So, I need to shake it off and I'm gonna do a little positivity!
1) MY PANTS DON'T FIT! This is the second day in a row they've been sliding right off of me, lol! So, I will be doing laundry tonight and cleaning up my two pretty sweater dresses that I have, so I can rock them on Thursday and Friday and show off my skinny self! The world is my runway!
2) Once I get this project done, I might get to go home early today! I've been really diligent about clearing out my paperwork the past couple days and taking care of "those nagging tasks." If I get this done before 1pm, and my client meeting at 1pm goes well, I might be on the road going home by 2pm! I plan to do a 30 minute bellydancing workout video, 30 minutes of cleaning and tidying up, and then I'm going to work on writing my novel for a couple hours, interruption-free! That way, when my dogs (and, oh yeah, "that guy I'm married to") get home at 5pm, I can spend time with them and watch a little TV, work on my Artist's Way chapter, and finish the book I'm currently reading. Oh, such a luxurious afternoon! I really hope I get to have it.
3) I had the cranberry chicken salad for lunch today, with a whole egg added for my fat serving. I'm REALLY finding that adding a sliced up egg to things is making them super tasty and filling for me! I usually have some olives or a handful of nuts for my other fat serving, but this egg once a day, thrown onto a sandwich or mixed into the salads, is just, yum, perfect!
4) Things are peaceful at the office today, the people I share the space with are all out and about, running errands, so I have the place to myself and I can sing along with my Google Home and stuff without bugging anybody!
OK, back to the grind!
Every day I am grateful to Jenny Craig for rewarding me with the opportunity to change my life. I wake up every day and while I look significantly different, my smile is what makes it worth it. For those struggling with the program, the food, their consultant just remember it is about you. This journey is what you make it, keep an open mind and remember to smile. Remember your reasons for starting this journey. We've got this!
So I gotta say, I love my JC Consultant, he's so positive and awesome and just makes me feel very "can-do." I always leave feeling in a good mood and like I can take on my upcoming week!
I was down 3 lbs at my weigh-in! So that makes about 5 pounds total lost on Jenny Craig in 3 weeks, even with a week of gaining a pound while on vacation! I'm feeling good about this.
This week, I'm trying a few things that have a little more cheese in them (like the margherita pizza) because they look good, and I'll eat them for dinner, so only my dogs really have to deal with the consequences, lol!
I managed to make it through my workout yesterday, even with my pain, and my trainer pushed me a bit too, which I think I needed. I wanted to be all self-defeating, but she wouldn't let me. I'm incredibly lucky to have good team members on my health journey with my consultant and my trainer both helping me so much!!
Today, I'm lucky because I get some time at home before I have to go in for client meetings this afternoon. I needed some introvert time, and I got some last night and today. Feeling positive so far, and I slept well, and my pain levels are back down today, so it's a good one so far!